Page 18 of The Librarian and the Rock Star

I smiled at my second mug of coffee. “Yeah, we went for a walk to Dottie’s, had some food, and then he walked me home.”

“And?” I could hear how high her eyebrows probably were.

“And he had their publicist send me tickets for tonight,” I said while stifling a giggle. “So I hope you’re free. It’s my turn to drag you to a show.”

“Amazing – thank you so much! But you’re changing the subject. I saw the way he was looking at you. The way he instantly grabbed your hand. I’m sure there was at least a good night kiss.”

“I, um…” I didn’t feel right talking about it. It was too raw and strange and intense to put into words.

She waited in silence for a few moments, then I heard a tiny sigh. “Okay then, you keep your little secrets. But you have to explain – what the hell is alley disease?”

I giggled, then explained the brief story of how we met, leaving out the part where I accidentally jumped into his arms like a terrified child.

“What were you doing taking photos in an alley on your lunch? I thought that you usually worked through lunch.”

“Yeah, I just needed a break,” I said. I didn’t want to get into the details of how disillusioned I was with my job at the moment, and how desperate I was to shake up my routine somehow.

“I’m really impressed with you, Keira. I know you’ve been in a bit of a rut lately, and it’s awesome that you’re putting yourself out there.”

“Thank you,” I said, truly touched. “I appreciate that. And I appreciate you always inviting me out to things that are outside, sometimes way outside of my comfort zone. ”

We laughed, then made arrangements to meet at the show, since I had no idea where I would end up beforehand. “See you tonight,” she said, before hanging up.

It suddenly occurred to me that I was going to another rock show tonight, and I had already worn my best rock outfit. I went through my closet, looking for anything black, or dark, or at least a little bit rock ‘n’ roll. Pulling items and throwing them on the bed, I realized that I had a more interesting wardrobe than I realized. I just rarely wore anything other than work clothes.

I had several dark skirts, shorts, and dresses, that with a little bit of jewelry would be close enough. I really did like the rocker style, it kind of suited me. It just didn’t suit my career.

For tonight I selected a simple black lace skirt with a sort of matching shirt, with short sleeves and an asymmetrical neckline. The lace fell to just above the knee, so it wasn’t too saucy, but with a thick silver necklace and some silver bracelets, plus my chunky heeled black leather boots, it was good enough.

For a moment I wondered if I was changing myself for a guy, but quickly kicked that back out of my mind. That wasn’t the case. I tended to change myself to suit the situation. When I went out dancing with my girlfriends a few times a year, I wore brightly colored club clothes. At work I wore slightly conservative, neutral tones that portrayed authority. For important meetings, I wore a dark gray suit or dress, that showed that I was powerful, and knowledgeable.

I found a small black leather cross-body purse that I had forgotten I owned. That would be perfect so that my hands were free during the concert. Transferring my wallet and keys, I checked for the usual selection of date night necessities, just in case. Gum, lip balm, tissues, compact and lipstick. I debated back and forth for a moment, then slipped two condoms into the hidden pocket, just in case. I really didn’t think that I would need them, but a wise person is always prepared.

I wasn’t ready to be involved with anyone. But if I was going to shake up my life, I had to at least be open to thinking about it. Really, would a little fling be so bad? If I really liked him? It was one of the very few times that I thought perhaps just once I should use the old excuse, ‘everyone else is doing it’.

Once I had showered, done my makeup and styled my hair, I saw that it was one-thirty in the afternoon, so I sent Jack a text.

Me: Thank you for the tickets. I’ll be waving to you from the front row!

I didn’t know what else to do with my day off. I wasn’t in the mood for housework, and didn’t have any extra library research to do. Looking around at my apartment, I wondered why I had worked this hard toward things that I thought I should want.

What did I actually want with my life? I had no idea. I wanted to be helpful, and give people the information they needed. I had always thought that this would be in a library setting, but would I be heartbroken if that were to change? A year ago I wouldn’t think that question could even be asked. Lately I found myself asking many questions, and spinning off into even more.

There was a thought skirting around the edges of my mind that I wouldn’t even let settle. What if Jack were really in my life? What would happen, how would that work, and is that something he would even want?

Would his band dynamic be thrown off balance if he had a girlfriend? Do the other members ever have girlfriends? I had too many questions, and certainly didn’t want to scare Jack away with the third degree.

Then there was that Paul dude. I noticed that he seemed to be hovering around the edges of conversations at the after party, and nobody really seemed to want to talk to him. Was I just seeing it that way because I didn’t like his vibe? Or was he genuinely bad news?

I couldn’t help it. I went back to my computer to research him.

It turned out Paul had been in a metal band called Tombstone Messiah about ten years ago. To me, it seemed to be horrible screaming angry rock, but it’s really not my style, so what do I know? He was the singer and extremely outspoken frontman, who proclaimed the record industry to be evil until his band was offered a recording contract. Then he started going off about how the fans were stupid and he had to push them into liking the band because he knew better than they did. It was confusing as hell. His online rants were barely readable.

This guy didn’t make any sense, but young men in their early twenties often had a lot of pent up anger. Maybe it was a different time in the music industry then.

Delving a little deeper, I found that his younger brother Jason Murray owned Neon’s Orange Records, and gave him a job as a promoter three years ago when the metal band had tanked. Paul started off promoting metal bands, but a year ago was suddenly switched to Vegas Mud Disco, who is considered hard, melodic rock, and a band called Tiny Blue Robots, which seemed to be techno nerd rock.

I couldn’t find out anything else about his career, so I went into Paul’s personal blog.

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