Page 40 of The Librarian and the Rock Star

Tina was in her mid-forties and liked to work at the front desk so that she could chat to people all day long and not do any other work. Her constant excuse was, “I was dealing with a student!” Even if the library had been completely empty for hours. I gave her the simplest administrative tasks, perhaps half of what I actually should, but she only ended up doing around ten percent of that, and only the bits she liked.

Our supposed technical person, Tommy, didn’t know that turning a router off and on again would reset it. He was in his early twenties and considered himself a web designer because he knew how to type things into an automatic website creation system. He also only accomplished about ten percent of the tasks he was given, because he seemed to have to start every project from scratch. The glacial speed at which he worked never increased with repetition.

The two part time staff showed up or didn’t, according to their classes and their whims. They basically reshelved books and tidied, which meant they walked around the stacks while dorking around on their phones.

It sounds crass, but these people truly didn’t seem to know their ass from their elbow. But if I finished a project and needed approval, suddenly they would all have an opinion, and we couldn’t expand the art history biography section because the proposal was ‘confusing’.

Maddening. Information technology should never include a daily dose of rage.

At first, I tried to be helpful, and train people. Assist them, and start them off with a complete outline of how to do their jobs. But lazy people will sometimes spend an obscene amount of time and effort avoiding the actual work. Their creativity and dedication would almost be inspirational if it wasn’t so blatantly stupid and childish.

Real children are never stupid. There are just a lot of things that haven’t occurred to them yet, but they’ll get there. Adult children are like trying to herd greased cats. They’re wily, crafty, a bit insane, and it’s impossible to get hold of them.

Often I’d just give up, and take over the important bits of their jobs. The more I got into the details of what their positions entailed, I discovered that with both the fulltime and part-time staff, two people were doing the job of one, and that workload wasn’t even being covered. I took over that one hour of actual work per day, and they’ll likely get raises, somehow.

22. Work Changes

I went into the office Monday morning ready to tear things apart. Instead, there was Tina, having a little meltdown because she didn’t know how to reboot her computer. I showed her, then I wrote the instructions down on a note and taped it to her inside desk drawer.

“Thanks,” she said. “I’m sorry that computers make me crazy.”

“It’s part of your job,” I said plainly. “You need to find a way to be calm and efficient. Everyone else does. You have a college degree, you should have learned basic problem-solving skills. Put these to use next time.”

I could almost hear some of the nearby student’s jaws drop open as I turned on my heel and went to Tommy’s desk where he seemed grumpy.

“Wifi is down again,” he complained.

I looked him dead in the eye and spoke a little louder than usual. “Did you turn the router off and on?”

“No, but–”

“You know where it is. You know how to do it. Do it now.”

I went to my office, shutting the door firmly. I wasn’t feeling nearly as bitchy as I may have sounded. I was elated that I finally said something.

Expecting adults to behave as adults should not be too much to ask in this day and age. If a person is being paid a salary to do a job, they should not require a manager to hold their hand through the entire process. This system of me taking responsibility for everyone else’s actions would stop today.

People will do anything if they think they can get away with it. I remember reading a study that found shoplifting rates decrease if there were photos of eyes around the change rooms and doorway. The feeling that one was being watched overpowered the urge to steal.

I started putting my thoughts in order in a memo and figured that my last card to play was public shaming.

***

All Staff Notice

Many projects have been assigned over the past several months, but I have not been updated on their progress. As you all know, I’ve taken on a large portion of the projects myself, so I haven’t had a chance to focus on supervising the completion of your tasks.

Over the two weeks, I’ll be checking with you all directly on each project.

Since my report to the board will be going out next week, I’d like to be able to update them on your personal progress as well.

Please find attached the lists of assigned tasks, with the dates they were entrusted to you. I expect updates on each ASAP, with current details and an estimated time of completion.

***

I sent that email, and cc’d a faked email that looked like the senior sponsor of the Denson College Library. They were so dim that they wouldn’t know it wasn’t real, and the bounce notice will only come to me. Perhaps that was a tiny bit evil, but a direct threat to their employment was the only thing I hadn’t tried that didn’t involve face to face confrontation.

Twenty minutes later, I was so excited that I sent Jack a text.

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