Page 48 of The Librarian and the Rock Star

He saw my alarm. “No! Nothing creepy. It’s just... It’s been so long.” He looked a little uncomfortable, before admitting, “That was the best, ever. Like, ever. And it scares me.”

“How could great sex scare you? And I agree, that was spectacular.” I felt myself blushing, which was a bit late.

“I have an addictive personality. That’s why I’ve never touched drugs. When I fixate on something, especially if it’s based in physical sensation, I get addicted very easily. It’s one of the reasons I need to perform so badly – the adrenaline rush.”

“Ah. You’re afraid you’ll become addicted to sex if you have it too often?”

“Well, sort of. It’s one of the many reasons why I never have one night stands. I’m terrified that I’ll get addicted to having it every night and get into groupies, or get addicted to a girl and ruin her life.”

“I’ll be careful,” I joked.

“I think it’s far too late for that.” He took my hand and kissed each fingertip. “I’m already absolutely crazy for you.” I didn’t know what to say, but I hoped that my eyes conveyed at least some of my emotions. “That doesn’t scare you?” he asked softly.

“A little. I’m crazy for you too, but, um–” He interrupted me with a kiss, soft as a feather. Then he leaned back and laughed. I raised an eyebrow, waiting.

“You’re analyzing how we can be together, aren’t you? Weighing the options, figuring out the details?”

I snickered. “You think you know me that well already?”

He nodded, quite seriously. “I know that you’re timid, but ready for a life change. I can help you break out of your shell.”

“I like my shell. It’s comfy in here.”

“Okay, but perhaps a few cracks here and there will help you look outside?”

“Are you asking me to think outside the shell?” I started giggling and it took me a moment to stop.

“You’re overtired,” he said, tucking the blankets around us tighter.

“Likely, yeah. Goodnight.” I kissed his nose, then rolled over to snuggle my back against him.

The way his arm cradled my head so comfortably, the way our bodies fit together, everything was just too perfect. I was likely the only person to look a gift horse in the mouth, or in this case, a rock star. But I couldn’t help it.

I fell asleep with his hand on my stomach in a strangely possessive, protective gesture, feeling absolutely adored for the first time in my life.

– THURSDAY –

27. Not So Bad

I woke up feeling like I’d already chugged a pot of coffee. I squirmed out from Jack’s arms reluctantly, making a quick cup of tea and getting ready for work silently. I fed Lizzie, put the coffee making supplies out on the counter for him, and left him my spare key and a note:

I’m off to work, I couldn’t bear to wake you. Text me later and hopefully we can have dinner after your interview. ~ K

Walking down the street, my heart was positively singing. It wasn’t natural to feel this incredible, and I’d have to find a way to scrape the smile off my face so my coworkers and the students didn’t think me mental.

Luckily I snuck in a few minutes early, missing most of the morning fussing, hiding in my office where I could drink tea and have a little quiet space to process things. I usually took care of urgent business first, then spent a little time researching, meandering, and absorbing the news.

But my mind was racing and wasn’t up for contemplation. I was supercharged. So I took a little research break. Something had been eating away at me, and I finally acknowledged that I needed to see it for myself.

I dug up the interview that Paul had told Jack he completely ruined. It actually wasn’t that bad. It was a live TV show about the music scene in Canada, and it was fairly casual. The host was cracking jokes, and the guys were animated and entertaining. Sure, Noodle was a bit giggly and hyper, and Jack stumbled over his words a few times, but it was natural. The studio audience loved them.

At the end of the show, as the host was speaking to the audience and the guys walked off stage into the wings, there was Paul, already berating them. His voice wasn’t audible, but his expression was of total rage.

What a sad little man, to tear people down when all they needed was some encouragement. But then to make them feel dreadful about it for so long, and try to tear apart the band’s energy? Totally unforgivable.

The music business wasn’t my area of expertise at all. But I could hardly sit around and not say anything. I just didn’t want to say anything that would make Jack feel bad when he seemed so happy.

I’ve never understood why anyone would want to tear anyone else down. If you have excess anger, go take it out on the people poisoning the planet, hurting children, stealing from the poor to give more to the rich. There were so many people who genuinely deserved wrath. The illogical misdirection drove me nuts.

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