Page 63 of The Librarian and the Rock Star

Every now and then, when I realized I was speaking to four or five people at once, and they were all staring at me, I’d find myself struck by a spasm of terror. But with Jack by my side, and the way they were so eagerly listening to me, I trembled, but was okay. Because the news I was imparting was something they were desperate to hear, I was able to stay calm enough to tell them.

It was fascinating, and I kept having little moments where I felt like I was floating outside my body, looking in. Was this how normal people lived? Able to chat to groups without needing to collapse inward? Being able to be in the moment without overthinking every little thing? It was captivating, and I sort of understood the appeal of being an extrovert a little more.

37. Titles and an Alley

Two girls walked toward us, then suddenly one grabbed her friend’s shoulder while squealing, “It’s Jack Vegas!”

“Hey, ladies,” he said warmly. “Having a good night so far?”

“What are you doing in Montreal?” the blonde girl asked, as if she was upset she didn’t know ahead of time.

I quickly explained the server glitch, the show, and how they could really help the band by promoting it online as much and as quickly as possible. They looked from me to Jack, as if they’d rather be speaking with him.

He laughed, and shrugged. “Hey, my girlfriend is a librarian. She knows every detail.”

“He’s just teasing,” I said quickly, giving him a playful smack on the arm. “We were joking about it earlier. I’m his friend, and a girl, and he’s been silly about it all night. Did you want a photo?” The blonde eagerly handed me her phone, and I waved for them to stand up against Jack, ignoring the horrified look in his eyes. “Smile!” They mugged for a couple of shots, and I handed back her phone.

“Thanks, ladies,” Jack said, “I hope you’ll be at the show tomorrow night, and tell your friends!” They promised that they would, then took off down the street.

“You can’t be calling me your girlfriend,” I blurted out as soon as they were out of earshot.

From the look on his face, I might as well have punched him. He looked completely deflated. Looking around to make sure the coast was clear, then kissing him quickly, I said, “Let me explain, please don’t freak out.” His arms wrapped around me, but not very tightly, as if he were suddenly unsure.

“Jack, I’m thinking of this show, and your band. Girls everywhere want to have the fantasy of being with you. If you tell them you’re attached, it kills the vibe. Doesn’t it?”

He looked at me oddly, tilting his head a little while he processed. “I don’t live my life for them. People must know that.”

“Yes, but during a time of transition, where you’re trying to turn things around, wouldn’t it be best to let the fantasies fly just a little bit? You’re running around taking photos with girls who you hope are going to your show, why not give them a little extra smile and a close hug? It would mean the world to them.”

“But, you’re the only girl I want.”

“I understand that, and...” I hesitated, not wanting to make things worse, and hating the tension in his eyes. “You know I am having surges of very extreme feelings for you. But it’s too soon for labels, especially when those labels might decrease the odds of your show selling out.”

“You’re more important than any show.”

I tried to smile. “But I’m patient. Wherever we’re going with this...”

“Relationship?” he asked hopefully.

“Sure. Relationship. Wherever we’re going, we certainly don’t have to define anything right now. We live in different cities, we’re both very busy. Let’s be a tiny bit logical.” I tried again to smile and forced my eyes to play along.

“I’ve always intended to move back to Toronto,” he said softly.

“Right now isn’t the time for massive life-changing decisions and declarations. Right now is the time to be sweet and social with your fans to sell tickets to tomorrow’s show. Right? And whatever I am to you, or we are to each other, I am perfectly fine stepping aside and taking photos as your assistant.”

He frowned, looking dark and gruff and so sexy it was hard for me to maintain my focus. “I don’t like the thought of you stepping aside.”

I tried to laugh lightly, not manically out of frustration. “I refuse to be in spotlights. Ever. It creeps me out. I’m much happier in the shadows, okay?”

He looked at me strangely, then I could practically see the light bulb go off in his head. “You like the shadows? Let’s go.”

He took my hand, leading me down the sidewalk and up an alley, turning a corner until we were out of reach of the streetlights. Pressing me against the brick wall, he kissed my throat, making my breath catch. Slipping his hand into the front of my dress and under my bra, he glided his fingers over my skin, turning my spine to liquid and my resolve to mist.

Checking over his shoulder to make sure the coast was clear, he turned his back to the street to block us from view. Pulling my dress and bra aside, he lowered his lips to my nipple, sucking gently as I squirmed, pinned between him and the wall. “You’re terrible,” I breathed. “Bad influence.”

“You love it.” He scraped his teeth gently over my skin. “If you don’t want to be public, I’ll respect your wishes. But I might have to do this now and then to remind myself how close we are,” he whispered, replacing his mouth with his hand so his kisses could trail up my throat, meeting my lips.

My insides were being torn apart from my logical mind wanting to keep things reasonable and my body wanting to completely give itself to him as his little toy forever. He removed his hand from my breast, and I tried to pull myself together, but then it slipped under my skirt, into my panties, and two fingers slid immediately inside me.

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