Page 63 of The Tycoon's Shock Heir

But still that sickness spread through her—the terrifying fear that she would let them all down if she couldn’t show love, be loved in return.

Matteo... What would happen when his deal went through? When he had his bank, his meetings and clients and charity benefits? When women would throw themselves at him?

He loved women. He loved sex.

He had married her, but only because he’d had to. He didn’t love her. Not the way a husband really loved his wife.

And their daughter... What if she felt nothing for her child? What then?

She stood by his side on the terrace outside the room where they had just said their vows. In the distance the roofs of the Roman skyline spread out in a clutter of terracotta and gold all the way to the plains beyond. Flimsy white clouds trailed across the sky.

It was the perfect day to be married.

She couldn’t wait for it to be over.

‘Come on, Ruby, this is the happiest day of my life. You’re my wife. We’re going to have a baby. We’re going to be happy. You’re going to go back to your dancing. I can go back to sport—properly, maybe one day. We couldn’t ask for more...’

He scooped her close to his body.

‘Sweetheart, come on. Be happy.’

She pulled her smile as wide as it would go, made her eyes sparkle, squeezed out a tiny chuckle. ‘I couldn’t be any happier. I’m just as pleased as you are. Everything is going to be great, I know.’

Suddenly his face fell. His mouth hung open unhappily. His eyes bored into hers so fiercely that she had to bite her lip and look away. He shook his head and pulled her inside, along the hallway and into a room.

‘I know you. You’re faking this. You’re unhappy and you’re making stuff up in your head. You’re probably already planning how to get out of here.’

‘No, I’m not,’ she lied.

‘Yes, you are.’

He stood there, this solid wall of man, and she knew that even if she closed her eyes she would still be able to feel him. His physical presence was like a power source for her now. She needed him so badly in order to keep going. Because if she was left on her own she would falter and fail. She couldn’t leave now. She didn’t have the strength any more.

‘Promise me you won’t go,’ he said. ‘Stay with me, Ruby, please. Don’t take all this away. I need you.’

‘I know you need me now. And I’d never abandon this after coming so far. But you won’t need me for ever.’

‘What are you saying?’ he said, pulling her further into the room and closing the door. ‘Of course I’m going to need you—our child will need both of us. Look at what we’ve got together. We have a brilliant relationship, we’re totally compatible—we just got married, for God’s sake. I know this felt like some crazy hare-brained scheme when we started, but it doesn’t feel like that now, does it?’

‘Come on, Matteo. If it wasn’t for the baby we wouldn’t be here.’

She turned away from his fierce gaze, stared past his shoulder at bookshelves full of ancient books piled high behind glass, at the dust mites that danced in the sunlight.

‘Is that right?’ he said softy. ‘Come on. I want you to read this.’

He took her hand and walked her to the shelves. There he unlocked a glass cabinet. In it were rows of soft leather books, much slimmer than the rest. He pulled a black leather notebook from the end of the middle shelf.

‘These are my journals. I’ve kept them since I was a kid. Occasionally I still write stuff down. This is the current one.’

He fanned the pages. Half of the book was filled with drawings and words; the other half was still empty. He looked at her and smiled. Held the book against his heart.

‘You’re in here,’ he said.

They walked outside onto the terrace and down the steps towards the bubbling fountains. Shaded from the hot midsummer sun, they sat on a marble bench as the water sparkled in rainbows of spray all around them. He couldn’t have chosen a more romantic spot, and her heart bubbled as much as the water around the stone nymphs.

‘I’ve never let anyone read these. It’s nobody’s business. But this is about us, so it’s yours too.’

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