Page 31 of Tortured Souls (Rebels of Sandland 2)
JoeNotExotic- And???
Fucking_Alan – She had no fucking teeth.
Regina_Phalange – Oh my God. Bloody priceless.
EmoGirl – Maybe she had an illness?
JoeNotExotic – Always positive thinking, Emo. I love you, girl.
Fucking_Alan – A bloody illness? Girl was sick if she thought I’d be going there. She had like three teeth in her head. Three. My nan has more than that.
Regina_Phalange – Was she a good friend of your nan’s?
Fucking_Alan- Come again?
Regina_Phalange – I have images of you turning up to a date with an eighty-year-old. So funny.
Fucking_Alan – She was in her twenties. I’m no octogenarian-phile or whatever the opposite of a pedo is. Calm your tits, Reggie.
Legion has joined the chat.
JoeNotExotic – I’m really gonna regret typing this, ‘cos I’m gonna sound like Alan, but at least she’d give good head.
EmoGirl – Joe, I’m disappointed. ROFL
JoeNotExotic- Me too, Emo. *Hangs head in shame and gives an evil laugh*
Fucking_Alan- I’m so glad my dating exploits amuse you.
Regina_Phalange- Every fucking time, mate.
Fucking_Alan – When I got home, I looked at her Facebook and Insta.
EmoGirl- She actually gave you her last name?
Fucking_Alan – Last name, phone number, social security number… This chick was desperate. When I looked online, she wasn’t smiling with her mouth open in any of those photos. Even if I had cyber stalked her, I wouldn’t have known. Girl duped me. I dated a fucking gummy bear… Well, the female version of Albert Steptoe. Nothing is advertised properly these days.
EmoGirl – Speaking of stalking, how you doing, Lady?
LadyStoneheart23- Better for coming on here and hearing about Alan’s toothless date.
Fucking_Alan- Yep. There’ll be plenty of ‘gaps’ in her diary from now on. I’m not bitter though. I hope she succeeds. You know, like a toothless parrot. Sucks seeds. Get it?
JoeNotExotic - *Watching the tumbleweed blow past*
EmoGirl – Alan’s tinder dates get excited when they hear he has a corner office with views of the city, drives a half a million pound vehicle and gets paid to travel. But it kinda sucks when they find out he’s a bus driver.
Fucking_Alan – I used to be a bus driver, but I got sick of people talking behind my back. Ba dum chhh…
EmoGirl- Anyway, enough about Alan’s toothless wonders. How you really doing, Lady?
LadyStoneheart23 – You really don’t want to know.
TommyTank has joined the chat.
Fucking_Alan –Tommy! Mate. Do I have a story for you!
Regina_Phalange- Hey Tom!
