“I promise. Tell me.” Maddie replied leaning into her.
“I found a ring. It was hidden in his stuff. Really hidden.” Becky said.
“How did you find it then?”
“Well, he…” She went even redder then. “He was acting all weird and I got suspicious. I thought he might be cheating. He kept hiding his phone, or keeping it face down so I wouldn’t see any messages. I got paranoid.”
“So you went through his stuff?” Maddie asked frowning slightly.
“We work for BlackWater Maddie. It’s in our nature.” Becky stated.
“I know but don’t you trust him?” Maddie asked.
“I do. I did, I think I just had a moment and then I found that ring.”
“You’re sure it’s an engagement ring?” Maddie asked her and she nodded.
“It’s a bloody huge diamond, what else could it be?” Becky asked.
“Do you love him?” Maddie asked back curious about her answer and Becky bit her lip.
“I do. I can’t explain it but he makes me so happy, makes me feel so safe. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this about anyone before.” Becky said.
“And yet you searched through his things.” Maddie teased and Becky smacked her arm.
“Just because you’re not there yet.” Becky said back.
“What?” Maddie said.
“Ready to admit that you love Cole.” Becky said.
Maddie winced only slightly but she knew Becky saw.
“What is it?” She asked.
“It’s nothing.” Maddie stated.
“Fuck off. Tell me.” Becky said.
“It’s complicated and I don’t want to get into it but long story short I don’t love Cole and I’m not sure I ever will.” Maddie stated staring at the table and avoiding the shocked expression on Becky’s face.
“What are you talking about?” Becky asked.
“I can’t Becky. I’m not capable of it.” Maddie stated.
“Capable of what?”
“Of feeling love. Of being in love. My body isn’t capable.” Maddie said.
“That is the biggest bullshit I’ve ever heard.” Becky stated shaking her head. “Oh god you’re serious aren’t you?”
Maddie winced nodding. “It’s a psychological thing. My brain never developed the pathways.”
“So when you say it’s just sex you actually mean it. That you don’t have any feelings for him at all?” Becky asked.
“No I do. I like him, I like what we have but I’m not in love with him. I don’t love him.” Maddie replied.
“Does Cole know that?” Becky said.