Page 67 of One Eye Open (The BlackWater)

She glared at him before downing her drink.

“What did you mean when you said I made you weak?” He asked.

“I told you before Cole. We both have our secrets.” She said before walking out and leaving him there.

She climbed the stairs, half expecting him to have followed her but he didn’t.

She walked into the bathroom, splashed cold water on her face and then got ready for bed. Part of her didn’t even want to sleep in the same bed as him, didn’t want to be near him.

She stared at herself in the mirror. Was she overreacting? Was she being overly dramatic? She didn’t think so, but then he hadn’t actually done anything had he? Sure the woman had laid herself out in front of him like she was some kind of feast but from what she could see he hadn’t touched her, hadn’t been tempted too.

She felt a pang of guilt, that maybe all her pent up rage, all her anger about what her dad was doing was somehow being redirected onto him. That she was channelling it onto him. And that maybe subconsciously a part of her was making this bigger, making this an excuse to allow her to run, to give her an exit. To simply walk away.

She walked back into the bedroom and got into bed, turning her back and trying to shut her head up.

She felt Cole get in beside her and she shut her eyes. He turned the light off and it felt like they were both just lying there. In silence. In the furious energy that swirled around them.

“I’m sorry.” He said reaching out to touch her.

She sighed.

“Me too.” She said turning to face him.

“I won’t hurt you Maddie. I’m not a cheat.”

She nodded, not sure what to say back and they both fell into silence again.

“She’ll be there tomorrow.” Cole said and she frowned.

“Where?” She asked.

“At the AGM. She’s presenting on the project.” Cole replied.

“Fucking fantastic.” Maddie muttered.

“Once this project is over I won’t have to see her again.” He stated.

“And when is that?”

“Six months.”

“Six months.” Maddie repeated staring at the ceiling through the darkness. “Do me a favour then, if she does that again, if she touches you in anyway then you call her out. You tell her to back off.”

“Is that what you want me to do Maddie?” He asked.

“Yes. You just sat there, letting her behave like that, like it was okay, like I didn’t even exist. Like I didn’t even matter,” She said feeling the anger and the hurt in her again.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” He said.

“Well that’s how I felt.” She snapped back. “I felt worthless today. You made me feel worthless.” She added. “Worthless and insignificant too.”

“Maddie.” Cole said trying to pull her towards him but she shoved him back.

“Don’t touch me.” She muttered.

“I’m sorry.” He said but she just shook her head looking away from him. She hadn’t cried in years, she’d learnt so long ago that tears gave you nothing, they didn’t help, if anything they usually made things worse. But right then, in that moment, she felt close to it. Close to crying and she bit her tongue hard, forcing the emotions back down, getting back her control, getting a grip on herself once more.

---