Page 40 of Then Came Love
“No shit, but I need to believe in something. She’s here every night until ten or eleven, and damn it, Jilly, we’re so fucking good together. Too good not to be meant for each other.”
“Jax,” Jillian warned. “Just because she’s got an eye for design doesn’t mean she’s got an eye for you.”
“It’s not just that. We are on the same page with everything.” He didn’t want to divulge Jordan’s secrets, so he said, “We just click. She had a fucking crush on Audrey Hepburn, for God’s sake. If you could see us together, if you could hear our conversations and see the way she is with me, you’d get it. She’s open and trusting, and she’s funny and sexy, but it’s so much deeper than that.”
“You really are gaga over her.”
“I don’t even know who I am anymore. I feel incomplete when she’s not with me, and I know that’s crazy, but it’s real. You should see how she looks at me. I know she wants me as much as I want her. I feel it in my bones, and I have since the day we met.”
“Jax, you’re designing her wedding gown. I think you’re seeing what you want to see.”
“No, I’m not. She’s postponed the wedding four times.”
“Do you know why?”
“It doesn’t matter why. If he was the right guy, she’d be married and living in New York right now. But she’s not, because he doesn’t respect her time or her beliefs, and God knows what the hell he was doing in the city instead of being here with her at Trixie’s wedding. She needs to dump his ass.”
“That’s not your decision to make.” Jillian pushed to her feet, speaking sternly. “Jax, look at me.”
He stopped pacing and met her gaze.
“I’m worried you’re going to get hurt. Have you told her how you feel?”
He nodded. “At the wedding.”
Her expression turned empathetic. “And she’s still getting married. I think she’s given you her answer, and you’re too caught up in her to see it. You need to face the facts and accept that she’s marrying another man.”
“I fucking know she is, but I can’t believe it. In my heart, she’s supposed to be mine.”
“Oh, Jax.” She wrapped her arms around him. “I hate this for you.”
“Yeah” came out as tortured as he felt. “I just can’t seem to let her go.”
She stepped back with a serious expression. “Which is why you should let me finish designing her gown. This is bigger and more powerful than you, and I’m afraid you might do something stupid.”
“I won’t do anything stupid, but I made a promise, and I need to see it through.”
“What you need is a sign to let her go. Why don’t you come with me to Whispers tonight and get your mind off her? I’m meeting Emmaline and a few other friends.” Whispers was a nightclub in Peaceful Harbor, the next town over. “We’ll have a few drinks, chat up some unsuspecting hotties, and maybe we can break that spell she’s got you under.”
He scrubbed a hand down his face. He had no interest in flirting with anyone other than Jordan.
“Come on, Jax. This isn’t who you are. You don’t sit around pining for women. You’re just caught up in the idea of being with her. Let’s break the cycle. We haven’t been out together in a long time.”
“Maybe you’re right, and I’m too caught up in her to see things clearly.”
“I really think you are.”
He shrugged. “It’s worth a try. I’ll meet you there. I want to finish up these designs, and I need to run Coco home.”
“Want me to stay with you? Or take Coco home?”
“No. Thanks. Go meet your friends. I won’t be long.”
“Okay.” She leaned closer and whispered, “Have you gotten my birthday present yet?” Their birthday was next weekend. Nick and Trixie were hosting a family barbecue to celebrate their thirtieth.
“Wouldn’t you like to know? Did you get mine?”
Jillian smirked. “It’s in the works.”
After Jillian left, Jax worked on the designs for another half hour. When he was done, he took out his phone to text Jordan, hesitating at first because she was with Todd. The Neanderthal in him wanted to send a message that would bug the hell out of her asshole fiancé, so he would at least know that someone was watching the way he treated her.
But Jillian was right. He needed to start accepting the facts.
He thumbed out, Just finished the revisions and thought you and Todd might want to see them. It killed him to even type the guy’s name, but he was pretty sure “the dickhead” wouldn’t be appreciated. The gloves are important, and I’d like to see them as part of the design rather than an afterthought. I’ve tried incorporating matching lace into each dress, and I think it really pulls them together with the gloves. Let me know your thoughts when you have time. No rush. Good luck tomorrow. He was about to send the message when he decided to rip the bandage off and added, If you want to bring Todd by to see the designs in person, I’ll be around. He sent the message, along with pictures of the sketches and notations about the changes he’d made.
Maybe if he put a face with the name, it would help sever the connection he felt. He shoved his phone into his pocket and tried not to think about how long it was taking for her to respond as he drove home. But as he drove up the private lane to his four-bedroom home on three beautiful acres and parked in the circular driveway, she was still front and center in his mind.
Coco bounded out of the car and into the yard as Jax headed up to the wide front porch. His phone vibrated. He hoped like hell it was Jordan, and at the same time, in that split second before looking at the screen, he hoped it wasn’t. He knew it would set him off if she texted about how great her evening with Todd was going. Yeah, that made him an asshole, but it wasn’t like he had any control over it.
Jillian’s name appeared on the screen. Damn it. He read her message. Don’t even think about standing me up. He thumbed out, Just dropping off Coco. As he hit send, another message bubble popped up—this one from Jordan. His pulse ratcheted up as he read it. I love all your ideas. Todd didn’t make it, so we won’t be stopping by. Thanks for the offer.
He clutched the phone, calling Jordan, his other hand curling into a fist. That fucker didn’t deserve her. In an effort to tamp down his anger, he watched Coco playing with one of her toys in the grass.
“Hi,” she said a little tentatively.
“Hey, sweetheart. Are you okay?”
