Page 124 of Love Is: Two Bodies One Soul

‘What are you doing here? Where’s Margaret and Emi?’

‘She’s dead.’

‘Emi!’

‘No, no, no. Not Emi. Margaret. A motor accident in Trafalgar Square.’

Lexie leaned across the table and took hold of Owen’s free hand. ‘I’m sorry to learn that, but what about Emi? Where is she? Is she all right?’

‘No.’ Owen closed his eyes tight shut to stop the tears.

‘Owen, what do you mean, no? Where is she?’

Owen swallowed down the pain and the gut sickness and opened his eyes. ‘Emi’s in hospital. That’s why I’m here. I spent the night in the hospital with her. This morning they told me to go home, but I didn’t have my phone, and there’s no landline in the Pimlico place, and I couldn’t go back to Brighton, too far away from the hospital. So, I came here. I called George.’

‘Why didn’t you call me?’

Owen put down the mug and buried his face in his hands. This was it … the moment he had to man up. The moment he was going to break the heart of the only woman he would ever love. Either break her heart yourself or ask her what she thinks – your choice. But he had no choice.

Owen took Lexie’s hand in both of his. ‘I’m sorry, Lex ….’ He looked up at the ceiling – no inspiration there. He focused on Lex again. Grist, I can’t do this. ‘This is so hard,’ he began again. ‘I’m sorry, Lex, please forgive me, please believe me. There’s no other way. I’ve got to let you go. It’s not right for me to expect you to marry me now.’

She snatched her hand away and hugged herself. ‘Why not?’

‘Emi’s in a coma … if she survives, if she comes out of the coma, there is a strong possibility she’ll be brain damaged.’

Lexie moved as if she wanted to retake Owen’s hands but stopped herself. Crossing her arms tightly, shoulders lifted in tension, she said, ‘That’s dreadful, Owen. I’m sorry, so sorry, and I don’t mean to sound selfish, but I don’t understand how it prevents us from marrying.’

Owen stood up. His legs were steady. Obviously, breaking another person’s heart was a fast route to sobriety. He went to the sink and ran a glass of water, which he downed in one. Then, not turning around, fiercely gripping the edge of the sink, he spoke: ‘Men die before women. It’s a fact, Lex. I’m seven years older than you, which means you could be on your own for eight, ten, maybe even fifteen years after I’m dead. More possibly because I’m not accounting for any liver damage that I’ve probably already inflicted on myself.’

‘So?’ Lexie had come to his side and was gently stroking his neck. He couldn’t look at her. If he did, he knew he would weaken. He wanted her. Of course, he did. He loved Lexie. But he couldn’t spend the rest of his life with her. There was no choice – he must let her go. He stared out of the kitchen window at the overgrown lawn … no child’s swing, no sign a child lived in this house. Randomly, he realised then, there was no Christmas tree in the place. No decorations anywhere. What kind of Christmas had Margaret planned for Emi?

Ignoring the searing pain in his chest, Owen went on: ‘If Emi comes out of her coma in a brain-damaged condition, she will grow into an adult woman with the mental capacity of an infant. She’ll still be a baby when I die. She might be incontinent, she might be incapable of speech, she might need physical care, and I won’t be there to give it to her.’

‘But I will.’

‘That’s my point. I can’t ask you to give up your life. I can’t expect you to face the sort of challenges I’ve just described all on your own. I can’t do that to you, Lex. I love you too much.’

‘And I love you too much to allow you to break us apart.’

Owen shook his head and refilled the glass. ‘You don’t know what you’re saying, Lex’

‘Yes, I do, Owen. I’m saying I don’t accept being pushed out of your life just because you think it’s the right thing to do. You’re wrong. It’s not the right thing, and I’m not letting you off our engagement. We will get married.’

‘We can’t.’

‘Yes, we can.’

Lexie rested her arm around his shoulder and leaned into him. ‘Listen, Owen,’ she whispered. ‘We don’t know yet what will happen with Emi, but whatever the future holds for us, we will face it together because we’re soulmates. Only half-people when we’re without each other. So, I am going to marry you even if I have to enlist the help of George’s dubious relatives to get you to the wedding.’

Owen turned to her, his knuckles white from gripping the edge of the sink. ‘Do you mean that?’

‘I do.’ Lexie leaned in for a kiss. Then pulling back from him, she added, ‘I wouldn’t threaten you with a sawn-off shotgun wedding if I wasn’t deadly serious.’

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