Page 22 of The Third Girl

CHAPTER 9

SKYLAR

Ugh.I desperately try to keep the strangled noise that threatens to burst from me on the inside as I watch Matt and Sailor. He’s got her cuddled on his lap while he reads a bedtime story to her. The sound of that gravelly, low voice reading the cutesy words printed in the children’s book makes my ovaries want to leap out of my body and join Sailor on his lap for story time. Listening to him read to her … it’s just so damn manly. I’m on the verge of sliding to the floor in a loose-limbed puddle right here in the doorway when Matt closes the book and glances over at me. He tilts his head to the side, and damn, it feels like he can see right through me.Oh, God.I bet my cheeks are red as hell because they feel like they’re on fire.

Matt whispers something to Sailor as he sets the book down on the floor and stands with her in his arms, kisses her cheek, then deposits her into the crib. He’s got it on the lowest setting so she can’t climb out, which might prove tricky for me since I’m so short, but I’ll figure it out. My eyes roam over his broad back as he murmurs soothing words to her, his big hand stroking the side of her head and patting her tummy.

Realizing I’ve been holding my breath, I release it in a steady stream through pursed lips in an effort to calm myself. This guy… I’ve noticed him over the course of weeks, watching his every move at our self-defense classes. He’s so self-assured. Confident. Comfortable in his skin. Dependable. Mature. The only chink in his armor is his grief over his wife’s passing. I think he feels lost and lonely without her, but I can’t blame him for feeling that way. It’s so hard when people are ripped out of our lives. I feel connected to his pain, like I understand what he’s going through. But he has no idea about any of that.

Sighing, I back into the hallway. I’m sure he looks at me and sees some young frizzy-haired kindergarten teacher who he’s paying to take care of his kid. That’s it. I close my eyes and make a concerted effort to calm my thumping heart.

“There you are. I didn’t see you leave.” Matt’s gruff voice near my ear hits me like a sledgehammer, prompting my eyes to fly open.

I give him a slow smile. “You were having a sweet moment with her. I didn’t want to intrude.” My breath hitches, noting the warmth of his gaze. “I think I can handle putting her down if I ever have to.”

He nods, his caramel-brown eyes roaming my face. “Thanks for coming out tonight like this. I know you have other things you could be doing. Friends to hang out with, or whatever.”

I shrug with a slight smirk. “Most of my nights are spent preparing lessons for my class, reading… or maybe baking. I like to bake.”Shit.I’m rambling. I can’t remember the last time I word-vomited like that without thinking.

He chuckles. “Well, if you ever get the itch, I will gladly consume anything you make while you’re here.” He hands me the portable baby monitor. “I assume you know what to do with this.”

I take a few seconds to look it over. It’s standard, with a couple different channels that can be used. “Sure. It’s like the one my cousin had.” This is awkward. Standing in the middle of the upstairs hallway with his bedroom where he sleeps right there… I’d gotten a look at it earlier. It’s super masculine, not a feminine touch in sight. My heart tugs. I can only assume he changed things up after his wife died. My eyes flick up to him to find his gaze steady on me. I wet my lips, and I swear his eyes follow. Say something. Anything to stop this awkward, heated silence. “Um, can you remind me when you need me here?”

“So, my schedule’s kind of a pain in the ass. If you can be here by eleven thirty, that should work fine. Then, whenever you need to drop Sailor with Lucy in the morning should be okay. She’s at the bakery by five or so.”

“Okay. I can talk to her tomorrow morning to verify everything. Then once I’m off for the summer, I can stay and wait for you to come home. Or I could even stay longer if you need to sleep.” I shrug.

His lips part, and his head drops back. “I hadn’t thought of that. I’d definitely pay you extra if you stayed. That would be like some sort of miracle.”

I nod, smiling. “Okay, we can discuss it again when the school year’s over.”

Matt waves me away from Sailor’s room. “I think she’s out.”

As we walk down the stairs, a collage of framed photos on the wall catches my attention. I must have been so focused on getting Sailor up the stairs safely I hadn’t noticed them. There’s a gorgeous wedding photo of Matt and Terri, followed by Terri with an obvious baby bump. Baby photos of Sailor. A family photo of the three of them when Sailor was a few months old. I exhale unsteadily as my gaze drifts from one beautiful photo to the next.

At the bottom of the stairs, Matt clears his throat. “I can’t bring myself to put them away, even though it hurts like a bitch anytime I look at them.”

There’s a lump in my throat, and I don’t know where it came from. I swallow hard, shaking my head. “You shouldn’t—these photos tell the story of your life.” My eyes fill unexpectedly, and I’m forced to look away. I blink rapidly, trying to get ahold of myself.Shit.Like he needs me to fall apart right before he leaves his kid with me. I keep my eyes on the stairs as I finish my descent, then look up at him with a soft smile. “You know, you keep telling me that you’re okay. You’re fine. But I look at you and I see the struggle you’re going through. You’re raising a kid on your own, and that, on top of your mom’s surgery… it makes sense that you’d be having a hard time. There’s no shame in admitting it.”

His gaze fixes on mine, his eyes broadcasting his exhaustion. Running a hand over his jaw, he nods, then quietly responds, “You might be right. I’ve got a lot on my plate already, and this has thrown our entire family into a bit of an uproar. She and Dad are our rocks. She’s always been healthy, so this surgery is messing with us.”

“Well, sure. We need our moms at any age.” The second I say it, my eyes widen.Oh. Shit.

He closes his eyes for a moment then stares straight at me, his lips pinched together.

“Sorry.” Ah, fuck, I’m flustered. More flustered than I’ve been in a long time. My face heats unbearably. “That was thoughtless of me to say.”

“It’s okay, it’s the truth. I, for sure, still need my mother. And”—he looks away—“I guess I’ll have to be both for Sailor.”

I press my lips together and search for the right words. “You’re doing a great job, Matt. It’s clear that your little girl adores you. She’s too young to voice it yet, but you’re her whole world.”

He doesn’t respond, but continues to focus on the floor between us, as if he’s taking in what I said.

For several seconds, I stand there, fidgeting, wondering how to course-correct this disaster of a conversation.Oh God, Skylar. Think of something else to say.“Um, were you going to install that spare car seat in my car?”

I’m sure he’s glad to have something else to talk about when he takes a deep breath and releases it as he nods. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. It isn’t too much of an imposition?”

“No, not at all. Obviously, I’ll need it to get to the bakery in the mornings with Sailor.”

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