Page 120 of Meant to Be

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

“And nothing’s wrong?”

She hesitated, then said, “No. Not really.”

“Notreally?”

She sighed, then said, “I just have a lot on my mind.”

“What’s on your mind?” I said, getting increasingly worried.

“You know. Everything. The wedding. The campaign…It’s a lot…. I’m just not sure we can pull this off—”

“Pull the campaign off?” I asked her—because not a day went by that I didn’t think about throwing in the towel before I’d even declared my candidacy. I had no experience, and beyond how worrisome that was, I wasn’t even sure what I stood for. At times, I even felt paranoid that I was just being manipulated, used for my name. Much like at my job in the DA’s office, everyone involved in the campaign had an agenda, but instead of being one cog in the whole operation, I was now in the eye of the storm.

“Not the campaign,” Cate said. “I meant the wedding.”

“The wedding?” I asked. “Did something happen? Did the press find out?”

“No. But I’m sure they will. Maybe we should put the wedding on hold so you can focus on your campaign?”

“No way,” I said. “Marrying you is my top priority.”

“But—”

“But what?”

“I don’t know….” she said, her voice trailing off. “Nothing, I guess.”

“Cate. Please talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind. Have I not been helping enough with the planning?” I asked, suddenly sure that was it. The past few weeks had been incredibly hectic as I’d been bombarded with endless administrative tasks, from hiring staff to filing paperwork to gearing up for fundraising. And then there was the matter of Valentine’s Day, which she’d told me she hated and wanted to ignore. I’d believed her, but maybe it had been one of those tricks. A test that I’d failed. My mind was spinning as I waited for her to answer.

“I just don’t know that the timing is right…. I don’t know if it makes sense to plan a wedding while our lives are in such flux…. And, really, what’s the rush?”

“There’s no rush. But I also don’t see the point in waiting. And the longer we wait, the more likely the media will find out.”

“Yeah,” she said. “But if theydofind out, there will be a complete circus at the same time you’re announcing your run.”

“Okay. So you want to wait until after the election? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yeah. I guess.”

“What about moving in with me? Do you want to put that on hold, too?”

I held my breath, praying she’d say no. Instead, she sighed and said, “I don’t know. Maybe. You know your mother hates the idea—”

“I don’t care—” I said, getting upset.

“Okay, Joe,” she said. “I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed. That’s all…and this headache—I just want to go back to sleep. Is that okay?”

“Of course, honey,” I said.

I told myself to be patient—that her mood would pass. But I felt a knot in my stomach as I hung up the phone.

—

For the nextfew days, it was more of the same. Cate kept blowing me off and making up excuses until I finally told her I was coming over to see her. Right now.

“I’m about to go for a run,” she said, evading me once again.

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