“And you didn’t check the weather? Or think to tell anyone where you were going? That’s theoppositeof resourceful.”
“Well, how about the fact that I’m a strong swimmer?”
“Being a strong swimmer doesn’t help when you’re hypothermic—”
“Hey—I got to the shore, didn’t I?”
“Yes, and you also had to break into a stranger’s house to take a hot bath!”
“Exactly! Resourceful ashell,” I said, feeling smug.
Berry gave me a look of contempt, then shook her head. “You’re such an idiot.”
“But I’mright. I’mhere. Alive and kicking,” I said, though I still felt a chill remembering how shockingly cold the water had been, how violently I’d been shivering as I knocked on doors for help.
“Thistime,” she said. “Who knows about the next time if you keep this up?”
I hesitated, and then said, “The universe has punished my family enough.”
“Oh. I see now,” she said. “Silly me. I forgot that the universe isfair.”
“I’m not saying it’s fair,” I said, thinking of her parents, as I always did. “But I’m saying—what are the chances?”
“What are the chances that an astronaut is risking his life? Or an idiot who takes a kayak out by himself in a storm?”
I bit my lip and lowered my eyes as Berry kept on going.
“Your dad had a wife and child,” she said. “He hadnobusiness being in the space program. Especially when your mother begged him to quit.”
I looked at her, a little stunned by the direction she was now taking. “That was hisdream,” I said.
“So what?” Berry shot back. “How about yourmother’sdream?”
“French literature? Journalism?” I quipped.
The former was her major, the latter her first and only job out of college. Her actual job title had been “inquiring camera girl,” for which she wandered the streets of Washington, DC, taking photos of strangers whom she polled about current events and other random topics. Her photos, along with their responses, were in a daily column in theWashington Times-Herald. It was a cool gig, but I’d never gotten the feeling that it was herdream.
“No, dummy,” Berry said. “Herrealdream. To raise a family with her husband. And watch her child grow up with his father.Thatdream.”
“Oh,” I said.
“If he had listened to your mother, he’d still be alive. But he was too stubborn…too selfish.”
“What did my mother tell you?” I said, my stomach twisting in knots.
Berry shrugged and kept on staring me down. “She’s told me a lot of things, Joe,” she said.
“Like what?”
She took a deep breath, then let out a long sigh. “Well. Did you know they had a deal? That he made her a promise?”
“What promise?” I asked, my face hot.
“He swore to her that he would quit flying when you turned three,” Berry said. “Did you know that?”
I shook my head, feeling a wave of intense sadness.
“Well, he did. But he broke that promise. ’Cause he justhadto do one more mission. His ego was too big—”