Page 77 of Meant to Be

“Yes. Because. It’s. Us,” he said, thrusting inside me with each word as the boat began to sway, then rock, water slapping against the sides.

I stared up at the sky, watching the clouds drift along, feeling completely helpless as Joe talked to me in a low voice, telling me that I was his. I belonged to him. He belonged to me. His voice in my ear made me come so fast and hard, and as I dug my hands into his back, he came, too, saying my name over and over.

Afterward, we lay there together for the longest time, sweating and catching our breath. The sun was hot, but there was a breeze, and we both fell asleep. I’m not sure how much time passed, but when we woke up, we put our suits back on. Then Joe sat up and said it was time for a swim.

“Wait,” I said. “Aren’t there sharks?”

He laughed and said, “Tons. But I’m brave like that.”

I couldn’t tell if he was joking. “Seriously! Tell me, Joe!” I said, as he stood at the back of the boat, preparing to jump into the water. “Are there sharks?”

“I’ve never seen a shark inthiscove,” he said. “But you never know. There’s a first time for everything!”

Wondering if it was the first time he’d had sex in this boat, I stood and moved toward him, then looked nervously down into the water. I couldn’t see the bottom. “How deep is it?”

“About ten feet,” he said. A second later, he was diving in. As he swam just below the surface, I admired the lines of his body. When he finally emerged, he shook the water from his hair, grinning up at me. “Get in here!” he said. “It feelssogood.”

It was something people always claimed after jumping into cold water; I wasn’t buying it. “I’ll pass,” I said.

“You’re not going to swim?” he asked.

It was the last thing I wanted to do. Beyond the fact that I knew it would be cold, I didn’t want to embarrass myself. I knew how to swim, but barely—and had a distinct memory of failing a water treading test in the swim unit of ninth-grade gym class. I couldn’t believe how exhausting it had been to simply stay afloat.

But Joe kept begging me, and I didn’t want to bethatgirl. So I asked if there was a ladder.

“A ladder?” He laughed, doing a backstroke behind the boat. “There is no ladder, baby. Just jump in.”

“Well, then how would I get back into the boat?”

“There’s a little swim platform back here. See?” he said.

I looked down and nodded.

“C’mon. Just get in.Now.”

I could tell then that he wasn’t going to give up, so I took a deep breath and climbed over the back of the boat, then slowly eased myself down onto the teak platform that was like a little bench just above the ocean surface. Dangling my legs into thecold water, I kicked them, hoping that this would be enough to appease Joe. I didn’t want to confess to another shortcoming. But he swam over to me, grabbed my calves, and tried to pull me in.

At that point, I panicked and blurted out the truth. “Joe, no! I can’t swim!”

His smile turned to surprise, then concern. “You can’tswim?” he said, now half out of the water, his arms on either side of my thighs.

“Well, I can a little bit,” I said. “But not very well. And I just…I don’t like deep water.”

“Well, we need to fix that, baby,” he said.

I nodded, so embarrassed, as Joe heaved himself out of the water onto the platform beside me and said, “Everyone needs to know how to swim. It’s just not safe—”

“It’s safe if I stay away from the water,” I said, cutting him off with a smile.

“But, Cate,” he said. “Don’t you love it out here?”

I nodded and said that I did, very much.

“So, we’ll get you lessons. Or I can teach you. Hell. Why don’t we start now?”

I shook my head, starting to panic, knowing how persuasive he could be. “Not today. Please? Another day. Soon.”

“Okay,” he said. “We should probably start in a pool anyway.”

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