Page 55 of Denial

The issue is Ezekiel won't come. He won't apologize or take his words back. He can't even be bothered to text. So, what repairing can be done when the person who broke my heart isn't interested in fixing it?

"It doesn't matter," I say low.

"It's all that matters."

Her words, the same as Jeremiah's, make my throat clog with far too many emotions. I close my eyes for fear of the tears I feel rushing forward. I've done enough crying over them.

"Look, honey, I don't know what happened, and I'm pretty sure if I ask, you wouldn't tell me, but I know that if you're hurt enough to open up to me, it must be bad. So, if I may give you some advice about love..."

She pauses, waiting for permission. I figure I owe it to her for the harsh, albeit necessary, words I've said to her today. "Go on."

"Give it one more shot. I find sometimes people are their own worst enemies. This man might just be stuck in his own head, or even doubting that he knows how to love. You cannot know unless you ask, unless you face this head on. You ask him what you want. You say what you want. And you walk away knowing you did all you could. That's all you can do. If he doesn't step up, rise to the moment at that point, then you let him go because he wasn't worth holding on to. And, Lexa, listen to me, you don't let this stop you from loving someone else. One heartbreak does not mean your heart will always be broken. You make your own happiness. That's all I've ever tried to do. Find my happiness. Maybe I was looking in the wrong places, I don't know, like I said, when we get off the phone, I have a lot to reflect on. But one thing I am sure about is that I was happy. So, if this man makes you happy, then fight for it. Fight for him and see if he fights for you back."

Her words leave me speechless, for so many reasons. She can't understand that this is a three-way fight. I could fight for Ezekiel, but would he fight as well when he was still so firmly in his belief that, like their ex, I couldn't possibly truly want a life with them? And how would Jeremiah end up, being in the middle of us, would the push and pull make him bitter, make his feelings change? They both make me happy, but would I feel the same if I had to all but beg Ezekiel to love me back?

"Has he reached out?" my mother asks.

"One of them has." I slowly, carefully answer. "The other hasn't."

"One? What do you...Ohhh."

I chuckle at that. It's a much-needed laugh.

"I see." She laughs as well. "Well, hey, I am all for more love. Even better if two men are doting on my daughter." She pauses, then. "You do know I love you, right, honey? No matter what man was around, you do know I loved you more than any of them, right?"

That I do know. I've never doubted she loved me, even if she was sometimes too distracted to show it. "I know, Mom."

"But I need to work on it?"

"Yes," I admit.

"Okay," she says low.

"Are you okay?" I ask. "About thing ending with Richard?"

"I wasn't at the beginning of this call, but I am now. You know why? Because in talking to you, I realize I will love again, but I also know now, I will search for the right person to love, who will love me."

I smile. "I would like to see that, Mom. You deserve it. You really do."

She only hums. "So, second chances?"

"I'll have to think about that."

"I understand. And I'm going to text Richard and tell him I've been on bigger boats than his."

I bark out a laugh. "Do it."

"I will." I hear the smile in her voice. "Do tell me, how it all works out...Please."

"I will."

"Bye, honey."

"Bye, Mom."

As I go to put the phone down, it vibrates again. I see the preview of the text from Jeremiah.

Jer:Please just talk to me. I need...

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