Page 67 of Collision

“I told Jamie I’d go for a run with him today.” I crouch to tie my shoe and Mikaela furrows her brow.

“You brought running clothes?”

“Mik, I brought running clothes, work clothes, shoes, pyjamas.” I shrug while she stares at me. “I said I’d be on your couch for a while.”

“About work.” She’s twisting the ring she’s always wearing again.

“What about it?”

“If we show up together people will talk.”

“And you don’t want that?” I straighten up and place my hands on my hips as she bites her lip and shakes her head, her eyes dropping for a second as her cheeks flame.

“Not because it’s you.” The words flood from her quickly as she steps forwards. “Just, if it was anyone... I hate being gossiped about.”

I brush her hair off of her shoulder, toying a little with the strap of her dress as I smile. “It’s okay, Mik.”

She smiles up at me as she speaks. “You’re not going to take this as a sign that you’re right, are you?”

“No,” I chuckle. “I get it. So what do you want to do?”

She glances around the space, chewing her lip again as she takes a deep breath and squares her shoulders. “Maybe you shouldn’t stay here tonight.”

She looks absolutely terrified but her voice doesn’t waver.

“Mik.”

“No, hear me out.” She looks back to me with wide eyes. “I’m going to need to stay here alone at some point, right? And not just to prove that I’m not lying to myself, but because this is my home and I need to feel safe here. So, why not bite the bullet and just do it?”

“Mik,” I murmur as she smiles sadly. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“I don’t know,” she admits, “but I think I need to try. And if I’m wrong and I can’t do it -”

“One phone call. I’ll be here in ten minutes.”

“Ben, you live at least twenty minutes away.”

“And I will get here in ten, Mikaela.”

The smile that breaks over her lips is breathtaking. It pushes her cheeks up and creates little lines beneath her eyes as she squints slightly.

“Okay.” Its the softest breath, and the happiness behind it steals the last part of me that wasn’t already completely and hopelessly lost to her.

“Okay,” I repeat. “I’ll be back for my stuff in a few hours. Need anything?”

She shakes her head, her eyes on mine as I absentmindedly twist the strap my fingers are still holding onto.

“Okay.”

She grins again. “You going to go, or just stand there looking at me?”

The playful teasing has me wishing I could stay.

“I’m going.” I let go of her and step back. “Right now. I’m going right now.”

She follows me to the door, watching as I move into the hallway, and I look back to her again.

She needs time.

Time is officially my nemesis. Because looking at her right now I want to go straight back in, lock the door and lose the day in kissing her. Instead, I take a deep breath and smile.

I say, “text me if you need anything.”

And then I walk away.

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