Page 102 of So Now You're Back

Even jet-lagged and tired and extremely stressed, she looked adorable. Adorable enough to have him clamping down on his frustration. Again.

‘We agreed we needed to come here and tell Lizzie what’s been going on together.’ He was holding firm on that no matter how many times he had to talk her down off the ledge. ‘The good news is at least your house hasn’t burned to the ground,’ he said, struggling to lighten the mood.

The huge Georgian pile, five storeys of ornate white plaster, looked impressive even for Notting Hill. But he refused to be intimidated by it. After eight hours on the red-eye and having to route through Chicago to get here, he was more than keyed up enough already. The thought of seeing Lizzie and meeting Halle’s son, Aldo, for the first time was nerve-racking enough without him letting Halle’s nerves get to him, too.

They’d spent the past thirty-two hours on a nightmare journey from the resort with Halle insisting on discussing every nuance of this meeting in exhaustive detail. All the things he could say, and all the things he couldn’t. And he’d tried really hard not to take her doubts personally.

Whatever way you looked at it, this was a huge step, in all their lives. A huge step that he really didn’t want to fuck up. Because he’d come to a few momentous decisions himself—ever since she’d sprung her surprise departure plan on him. And the vague feeling of melancholy that had been bothering him ever since he had woken up to find her gone had turned into a gaping wound right in the middle of his chest.

He’d convinced himself a long time ago he wasn’t into relationships. That being Lizzie’s dad was the only emotional connection he was capable of. But he’d known in that moment it wasn’t true, or not true any more, because the thought of Halle leaving that evening without him had sent him into a tailspin of stunned horror.

He’d finally been forced to acknowledge that despite all the challenges, despite all the tough conversations, the rows and recriminations—and even that whiplash-inducing crack on the cheek—being with her had made him feel more alive, more connected than he had since he’d run away.

She’d challenged him and excited him, frustrated him and driven him mad with lust, but most of all she’d made him realise all the things that had been missing in his life since he’d lost her.

Consequently, he’d spent the whole of the damn red-eye wide awake, considering what his life could be like with Halle back in it. Not just as the mother of his child. Not just as a friend or a fuck buddy. But as more than that.

And the more he’d thought about it, the more he’d realised how important it was not to bugger up this next step. His growing realisation that Halle seemed convinced he was going to do exactly that wasn’t doing much to bolster his confidence.

‘What are you so scared of, Hal?’

She stared at him blankly, and he wondered if she was going to deny it. But then she sighed. ‘Listen, Luke, are you sure this is such a good idea? Springing this on Lizzie? She’ll still be in bed. Why don’t I have a quick chat with her when she wakes up? Just to smooth things over, prepare her. And then, if everything’s OK, I can give you a call and we could come and meet you somewhere. Later.’

He bit down on the new surge of frustration. And the spike of fear. Was this really about Lizzie? Or was she just trying to get rid of him?

‘I live in Paris, where exactly am I supposed to be while you’re preparing her to see me?’ he said, not managing to keep the edge out of his voice.

‘I could book you a hotel suite,’ she said, far too helpfully for her not to have planned the suggestion ahead of time.

‘That’s not the point and you know it,’ he said, his temper snapping. ‘We had an agreement. If you want to back out of it, I want to know why.’

‘Could you keep your voice down?’ She glanced at the house.

OK, that did it.

He grasped her arm, and her gaze shot back to his. ‘Halle, what’s really going on here?’

Had he been totally kidding himself? He needed to know if he had any chance with her, before he risked letting her see how much this meant to him, because apparently there was still enough of that screwed-up kid inside him to be scared to death he’d already buggered this up without intending to.

‘What’s really going on is …’ Halle tugged her arm out of his grasp. ‘She’s not my only child.’

‘Huh?’

‘I don’t want you to meet Aldo. Not like this.’

‘Why the hell not?’

‘He wants a father, Luke, desperately.’ She struggled to explain. ‘Whenever Lizzie was in Paris with you, he would ask about you incessantly. Does Lizzie’s daddy play football? What kind of car does Lizzie’s daddy drive? He’s always wanted to meet you. But he’s never had to see you with Lizzie. He’s never had to have his face rubbed in the fact that you’re her father and not his. It’s going to be agonising for him, seeing you two together and knowing he doesn’t have what Lizzie has.’

Instead of looking irritated or defensive, as she would have expected, Luke laughed. He grasped her upper arms, the look on

his face a picture of relief. ‘Seriously, Halle, is that all?’

‘What do you mean, is that all? It’s a huge deal for him, he’s only ten and—’

‘And I’m not Claudio,’ he interrupted. ‘Don’t you think I want to meet him, too? I know it’s not going to be easy. That we’ll have to get to know each other first. And you’re right, I’m not his dad. But I would never try to make him feel less because he’s not my kid. And the very last thing I would want to do is hurt him.’

‘I know that, but—’

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