Page 117 of Hard Wired

Even Dominic’s family hadn’t done that. The Cranes had tried to shape him into someone else to suit their needs, but he’d always had a place among them.

Sylvie remembered why she’d first been drawn to hacking—the egalitarianism. It didn’t matter who you were or where you’d come from. The hacking community would accept you based purely on the quality of your coding and the creativity of your solutions. She’d hidden behind the anonymity of her computer screens ever since. There, she knew she’d belong because no one truly knew her as an individual. They only saw the evidence of what she could do.

“In a way I’ve been hiding since the moment I left home. I thought I was accepting my true self by running away, but I wasn’t, because I almost never showed it. Not completely. I was always holding something back.”

Maybe that was why physical pleasure had eluded her for so long. She’d reached a climax with Dominic because he’d come the closest to seeing and accepting her entire self, the good and the bad—because she’d let him. With him, her brain could stop stressing and thinking and just relax.

But having an orgasm hadn’t fixed anything about her. She was still struggling with the same issues.

Dominic had wanted to accept her, but she hadn’t accepted herself.

“Oh my god. I think I get it now. Thank you.”

“You’re thanking me?” Faith laughed. Sylvie loved her friend’s laugh—bubbly and musical. “I didn’t do anything.”

“I promise you did.” Sylvie sat up against the pillows. “But now I want to hear all about you. Jon, your family, everything.”

“That’s going to take a while.”

“Then tell Ethan to order us some Indian food and open a bottle of wine. I’ve got all night.”

* * *

It was almostmidnight by the time Faith fell asleep on the couch. Sylvie had offered to share her bedroom, but that could wait until tomorrow. She didn’t want to bother Faith now and tell her to relocate.

Ethan had already gone upstairs. The kitchen was littered with takeout containers, so Sylvie cleaned up a bit before heading to bed.

In her room, she unlocked her phone and read Dominic’s message for the hundredth time. As usual, her heart twisted with every line. But now, she touched the message box to write back.

Hi.

His response came a moment later. Hi back.

The curser blinked at her. Tell me something you’ve never told anyone, she wrote.

He took only a few seconds to reply: My favorite flavor of instant ramen noodles is Lime Chili Shrimp. Your turn.

She typed, My favorite thing about Halloween is candy corn.

That’s disgusting.

Hey! This is a judgment free zone. She was smiling, thinking of him holding his phone somewhere in the world, writing his response. Writing to her.

How are you?he asked.

Feeling judged. Can I ask where you are? Is that allowed?

It’s no secret. I’m in Burbank.

Her heart raced. He was in the L.A. area. Had he been there all this time? She wanted so badly to see him, even though it was too soon. She’d only just now figured out the whole “self-acceptance” thing. It wasn’t going to magically resolve in one night. There was so much she needed to tell him, but she couldn’t sort it out yet, much less say it.

But she missed him. She missed Nic so much.

I’m glad you’re not far, she said. Can we text again soon?

He sent her a blushing smiley emoji. It didn’t seem like the kind of response Dominic Crane would send, but from Nic, it was just right.

* * *

---