Page 63 of Coveted Justice

Maddie kept her tone neutral as if all of this wasn’t a big deal in the least. Just chit-chat. Small talk. Nothing important here, folks. Nothing to see.

She heard Amanda’s swiftly indrawn breath and her daughter fumbled with the paper napkin, dropping it on the cement before picking it up and tucking it under her plate.

“Talk? Why do you think I need to talk?”

“I know that you’re upset about the press talking about your father’s drinking problem.”

Amanda’s eyes grew wider and then she slowly exhaled, her shoulders relaxing slightly.

“Yes, yes, that’s right. I am sort of upset about that.”

“I know it’s hard to hear those things about your dad.”

“Doesn’t it make him mad? He doesn’t drink anymore. Hudson is just throwing mud and seeing what sticks.”

“That’s true,” Maddie conceded. “You know my opinion of Arnold Hudson, and it isn’t good. He’s a snake and a crook, and those are his good qualities. But alcoholism is a lifelong disease. Your father can’t drink. End of story. It doesn’t make him a bad person. If anything, it makes him a strong person because he recognized that he had a problem and he did something about it.”

“People like Arnold Hudson get away with being terrible, and then people like Dad get hurt. It’s not fair.”

“I’ve said this to you before, and I’ll probably say it again at some point. Life isn’t fair. You know that. I understand that it’s hard for you to hear bad things about your father. He’s not a perfect man. He’s a human being and when he was younger, he made some mistakes. That doesn’t make him unworthy of love. Or being the next governor. He’s still your father and he loves you so much.”

“He’s not a drunk,” Amanda said stubbornly. “Hudson keeps calling him that but he’s not that at all.”

“He can never have another drink again,” Maddie said, her tone gentle. “Ever. He’s not perfect, Amanda. He used to drink. A lot. Now he doesn’t and that’s wonderful. But he’s just like everyone else in this world. He’s simply doing the best he can from day to day. We all are. I’m not perfect either. I’m human and sometimes I screw up. When I do, I try to realize it and apologize for it. Fix it if I can. You’re not going to be perfect either, and trust me, we won’t love you less because of it. We love you more than anything in this world. No matter what you do.”

It was as if she’d been hit over the head with a heavy object. The exact words she was using with her daughter could be the same as what she needed to say to herself.

Her father wasn’t perfect. He was human. He was doing the best that he could. He’d made mistakes. She sure as hell wouldn’t want Amanda to hate her because she wasn’t perfect.

I love my father.

I just don’t like him very much right now. But I still love him.

He might need to hear that. Sadly, she couldn’t remember when she’d said it last. It had definitely been before he’d told her about her half -sister. She didn’t hate her dad; she was disappointed in him. He wasn’t a hero, or perfect.

Her mother probably wasn’t either. She’d been human, too.

Maddie made up her mind to call her aunt the next day and ask about her mother. When she’d been younger, she’d been afraid to ask too many questions. She hadn’t wanted her father to be hurt, thinking that he wasn’t enough.

And I wanted my mom to be flawless. The idealized version.

Idolizing human beings rarely ended well. It wasn’t healthy for a grown woman to think that her parents couldn’t make mistakes. Everyone did. It was shocking that she hadn’t had this epiphany a long time ago. It was far overdue.

“I love Dad,” Amanda whispered, the paper napkin crumpled in her tight fist. “I just wish Hudson would shut up.”

“We all wish that,” Maddie sighed. “Believe me, it could be worse. He could still be trying to say that Tanner is a murderer. At least he cut that out quick after that one time. I’m guessing one of his people got to him and said that he needed to stay quiet about an open investigation.”

“Dad’s going to catch whoever killed Marty.”

There was complete trust and conviction in Amanda’s tone.

“He will, along with the other guys. They work best as a team.”

Amanda was quiet again, her gaze on her half-empty plate. They’d talked but her daughter didn’t look like she felt any better.

“When I asked you if you wanted to talk, I assumed that you would want to talk about your father. Was there something else on your mind?”

For a long moment, Maddie didn’t think Amanda was going to answer, but then her daughter turned to her, confusion written in every line of her face.

“Josh and I kissed.”

Oh. Josh. And Amanda.

She hadn’t seen this coming. Not at all.

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