Page 1 of Extradition (Mobsters + Billionaires 1)
JOE
I understandthat the purpose of these all-hands-on-deck meetings is to shake up our day, maybe even pump us up a little, but somebody forgot to tell the CEO that. Jesus Christ, this pompous asshole hasn’t taken a breath in over thirty minutes. At this point, he just wants to hear himself talk.
“And that is why we have been successful. Each of us is willing to go above and beyond, work the fourteen-hour days, work the weekends, miss the soccer games…because what we are doing is important. I would dare say it’s the most important thing you’ve done in your entire life.”
Is he fucking serious?
“Bullshit,” I bark out, shaking my head.
The entire ballroom, over a thousand people, goes silent as frozen air. I realize, belatedly, that I am the reason for the lack of oxygen in the room.
Ah, jeez.
“Who said that?” he asks, scanning the audience.
Garza, my buddy, elbows me. “Shit, dude. I can’t believe you said that. Make it better,” he hisses.
I can’t though. His entire speech has been a nightmare from top to bottom, and I’m sick of it. Expecting free labor just because everybody is salaried is preposterous. Fuck, even my horrible father, an actual mobster, pays people for the work they do.
I think about all the money and time I spent getting my MBA, and I want to vomit. I can’t believe I worked so hard to leave mob life behind, only to end up working for another crook.
I thought the advantage of working for a millennial CEO is that he’d be more ethical. Thoughtful, even. I certainly hadn’t expected him to sound like some eighties throwback, greed-is-good motherfucker.
I think about my student loans and…fuck it.
“Not gonna do that, Garza. Not gonna make it better. I can do poor. I can’t do whatever the fuck this is,” I whisper back.
Rand Wolfe, our illustrious CEO, puts his hands on his hips. “I’ll ask again—who said that?” He looks flushed, like he’s about to jump into the audience and interrogate people.
Might as well go out with a bang.
I raise my hand. “I did. Because it is, in fact, bullshit.”
Wolfe’s eyes finally land on me, and I stuff down the nerves threatening to run riot.
Squinting at me, he asks, “How can working for a common goal over something so essential be bullshit?”
Essential, my hairy Italian ass.
“We’re not feeding the hungry here. We’re making expensive cross-training shoes for elite athletes. Our entry point is three hundred dollars a pair. There is nothing noble about three-hundred-dollar shoes. Certainly not something so important as to put aside family responsibilities. Certainly not so important as giving a billionaire our precious hours in exchange for shitty coffee and an early grave with no extra money to show for it.”
The guy in the four-thousand-dollar suit sneers at me. “Only someone with so little vision could think of it that way. When this company does better, we all do better. And we do care. We have excellent insurance, a coffee bar on every floor, and a gym with a pool on the top floor. Proof of our commitment to our employees.”
I snort. “Your insurance is shit, and you put in the coffee bars to prevent people from leaving the building for their coffee breaks. As for the gym and the pool…quick show of hands. How many of you have time to use the gym? How many of you have actually put on a pair of trunks or a swimsuit, gotten into the water, and enjoyed the goddamn pool?”
I look around at the vast conference room, and not a single hand goes up. Not surprising. I gesture to the lack of response in the room, making sure our esteemed robber-baron CEO can see the point.
“That’s not proof of commitment if people are so overrun and overworked they can’t use it.”
Garza smacks me. “Shut. Up.”
Yeah, not gonna happen.
Wolfe stands to his full height as though being marginally taller than most people is some grand achievement. “Only small minds think of limitations. Great minds, the alpha wolves of the pack, think beyond their limitations.”
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, not this shit again.
Swear to the Holy Mother, this man cannot get over the fact that his last name is Wolfe. He’s made it an entire personality. He loves talking about the alpha-wolf mentality, how everyone who’s ever succeeded displays the same raw virility.
