Page 40 of Beyond the Faerie Gate

Perhaps my replacement would be better at this than me. More… regal. Stronger.

But something in my chest tugs painfully at the idea.

“If I go back… will I be able to help?”

Danu chuckles. “My dear, dear daughter. You were born for this purpose.”

More images fill the dark space. I recognise Jaro’s face, drawn and haggard as he rides hard through a wild grassland. Drystan is beside him, just as stony and determined as usual. Another, to the left, shows the tattoos I remember from before, but attached to them is a skinny male, chained to a bed in the darkness, with silent tears leaking from his eyes.

A third shows a pale devil with scarlet eyes panting as he stares out of a window at a forest of mud and rain, surrounded by a wrecked office.

Then the final one, the one which physically hurts to look at.

The grey-blue skinned male from before, holding a crossbow in one hand as he stands among a field of corpses.

His own people.

He slaughtered them.

“How am I supposed to fix this?” I whisper.

“Be yourself,” Danu encourages. “Each Nicnevin is born with the gifts she needs to lead her people through whatever crisis they are in. If you choose to return, you possess the tools you need. A High Priestess who will serve you well. A Guard who will protect you. You need only unite them.”

“I don’t even know what my powers are!” I protest. “I’d need to be a one-woman army to do what you’re asking of me!”

Danu says nothing as she waits patiently for my answer.

“And how am I supposed to unite them? I don’t even know where two of them are and the final one is hellbent on killing me! I don’t like violence. I know nothing about the fae. I must be the least qualified person—”

The feeling of warmth returns, and I frown. Is the goddess… hugging me?

“You are the only qualified person. But it remains your choice to rest, or return.”

But if I choose to rest, I’ll just pass the burden on to my own daughter. What would happen to her, a baby with no one to protect her? Would she share my fate?

Can I do that to a child?

“Fine. I’m going back.”

The warmth disappears, and the goddess hums with approval.

“I thought as much.”

The darkness is there one second, gone the next. In its place is blinding white light which fades until I can see the roof of a cave covered in stalactites.

That’s when the pain starts.

Returning to my body is like being struck by a thousand needles tipped with fire. I arch, strain, and thrash, unable to hold back a shocked scream so raw that it tears my throat as it bursts out of me.

I should’ve chosen death.

Perhaps if it were continuous pain, I’d grow used to it. But it ebbs and grows, never truly letting me get used to it before it cranks up or down a level. It goes on for hours until I’m too exhausted to do more than just sit there and feel.

I lie there, panting and screaming in a shallow pool of water for so long that I lose track of time.

Eventually, it starts to fade. Turning from waves of agony into a muted ache that pulses from my chest out to my extremities with every heartbeat. Drifting in and out of consciousness, I struggle to pull myself back together. I manage to flop onto my side, only to get a mouthful of water for my trouble. It doesn’t taste bad, but I wasn’t prepared for it so I splutter and cough as I struggle to push myself into a sitting position using achy arms.

The cave I’m in is huge and dominated by the glowing water of the pool. There’s nothing else here. No people. No furniture. Nothing. Just dripping wet walls and the relaxing sound of running water.

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