“They’re sworn to your service—” Mab begins.
Maeve cuts her off with another giggle. “—in and out of the bedroom! Just wait until your fever—”
“Will you just stop!” I don’t mean to yell at Maeve, but she’s driving me up the wall. “For once in your life, can you be a bit more… tactful? Or just have some sympathy? I’ve been fae for fourdays. I just died, and now I’m being told I have five husbands—mates—agh! Just leave me alone.”
Maeve disappears as soon as I say the word, popping out of existence without so much as a goodbye.
“Rose,” Titania begins, cautiously. “She means well…”
“Well, I’m sick of it. I’m so out of my depth, and she mocks me every step of the way.”
“She’s also the first to rise to your defence,” Mab advises. “But you’re right. Maeve’s energy won’t help us right now.”
I deflate and scoop up another handful of berries from my little pile on the floor. “I just… I feel so useless. Danu seemed so sure I was made for this.”
“In the past, Nicnevins have taken different approaches to the relationship with their Guard,” Mab advises. “You will work out what works for you in time.”
I wave my hand at myself. “But I can’t even fly yet.” That seems like the most basic fae skill I should have. How am I supposed to figure out a multi-person relationship if I can barely even flap my wings?
“You’ve only just started truly trying,” Titania advises. “Come on, give it another go. You were moving your wings. Try to get used to making them flutter.”
“All of the muscles work independently of one another, which can get confusing at first,” Mab adds. “Don’t overthink, just let your body do it.”
But none of their advice, no matter how well meaning, seems to help. To make matters worse, the guilt for shouting at Maeve is starting to sink in. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I almost never get angry like that.
“This is hopeless,” I mutter, after fifteen minutes of twitching the muscles in my back. “I’m going to start walking while I practise. Otherwise, I’ll be stuck here all night.” I turn on the spot. “Which way do I go?”
Both Mab and Titania look clueless. “The cave exists in a pocket realm,” the former says, shrugging. “You’ll never leave in the same place twice. The only guarantee is that you’re somewhere in Elfhame.”
“I need to find my Guard,” I mutter, more to myself than to them. “Which means I’m back in the position I was before. I need to learn to follow the connection between us.”
Because that went so well the last time.
I chew at my lower lip and take a deep breath.
I’m stronger than I was before. I’ve met Danu. I’ve seen what they look like. That’s got to make this easier.
Another deep breath. I reach inside myself like I did when Maeve showed me how to sense my connection to Danu. It’s still there, filling me with the same sense of warmth and home as before.
This time I look deeper. Beyond it.
The connection to Danu is so strong that it takes a while for me to find them.
The first one I can feel is Jaro. I know it’s him because it feels like fur, teeth, and a sense of utter loyalty that reminds me of his wolf. I turn instinctively to face the direction of his bond, only to stop short when I feel the next one.
Sharp, witty and cutting. Filled with piping hot rage.
It’s him. The Fomorian who ordered me killed. He’s in the same direction as Jaro.
A third bond whispers along my senses. Horses and smoke. Drystan. He’s that way too, probably with Jaro.
Can I risk heading to them if the Guard who wants me dead is in the same direction?
Probably not.
I let myself search once more. The fourth bond is quiet, almost like it doesn’t want to be found, yet arcs beneath my touch like a skittish cat starved for affection. The softest, saddest melody trills through my mind in quiet greeting, then it slithers away, avoiding my attempts to capture it again.
In contrast, my fifth bond is so eager that it rushes through me, filling my mouth with the distinct, coppery taste of blood.