I choked on her words. Not if I tell them every single thing I’d ever told them about my past was a lie. I closed my eyes and controlled my breathing, trying to figure out what to do next.
I decided there was no way I could go back to the dorm. I had to get to the club and carry on with my plan. I walked a couple of blocks and snuck in, pretending I was with this girl in front of me in the line. Her dark hair was tied up, she had a gold sequin dress with matching heels. I was sure she had a date and was keeping it quiet. She was all dressed and ready to go out, the way I was, but I didn’t pry. She smiled at me, and we walked in together.
I showed my fake ID to the guy at the door, all the time my knees were shaking, worried that he would tell me that it was a fake. I had to see what Dane did at a place like this, and after he canceled our date tonight, after I bought the dress, curiosity got the better of me and I was determined to stay and watch him.
I couldn’t believe it as I entered, losing the girl I walked in with, and I saw him at the corner of the stage. The waitress gave me my soda, and I could tell she was dubious about giving it to me or had figured me out. My generous breasts and shape may make me look older but underneath it all, I was eighteen and a far cry from twenty-one. I felt bad, like a criminal as I sat in the bar, but as Dane started to sing and play the piano, my heart fluttered—the same way it did the first day when he came to my room and admired me butt naked in front of him. The same way he did whenever he touched me, apart from today at the mall. It was as if he put a spell on the room as he sang and everyone fell into silence and watched him. No one spoke, it was as if no one dared to. I started to cry, not tears of sadness, but of joy. I knew why he canceled tonight, and I planned to make it worth his while as I continued to sit and listen to him.
As soon as he finished his first number, some stood and clapped while others took their partners hands and started to embrace as they hit the small dance floor in front of the stage. There was a mixture in the crowd, some were older and there was hardly anyone our age. I admired he had this sense of maturity. No one would guess that he was a jock on a football team or even the captain of the team. He wore a black shirt and matching pants, and it made him automatically appear to be in his twenties.
The MC applauded him, and it was as if the room, which was once in a trance, awoke from it, including the bartender who asked me, “It’s great that you admire him, honey, but you can’t sit there all-night drinking one soda. I’ll get in trouble.”
I smiled at her as her sympathetic blue eyes smiled at me. I knew what she was telling me to do, order alcohol perhaps, because I didn't know how this thing worked for sure. Sure, I had a glass of wine a couple of times with Mom, especially after what happened with dad, so it wasn’t as if I hadn’t tasted it. It was just I wasn’t even supposed to be here, let alone drinking alcohol.
“Glass of house red,” I blurted out with all the confidence in the world. She nodded, and after a few short seconds, a glass appeared in front of my eyes. I clutched to my purse, then left it on the bar.
As I sipped on it, my eyes drifted to where Dane was and where he could have disappeared to.
She returned and said, “You really have a thing for Daxon. Not only you, check out his little fan club over there.”
A wave of jealousy hit as I saw him sitting, drinking a beer, talking to a couple of women. They must have been in their late twenties, and they were all smiling and talking as if they were old friends.
They’re only talking! I said to myself, thinking I was really turning out to be the jealous girlfriend.
“Daxon? Does he play here often?”
She nodded. “Yeah, every Saturday, but lately, he’s been playing Fridays and Sundays, too. The crowd loves him. This place used to be empty, but since he’s been coming and seeing as he’s a songwriter, the place has livened up a bit.”
“I can imagine.”
“Yeah, shame really. His brother’s a big football star at the university. His talent is music, his brother’s football. Everyone’s got to have a talent, right? That’s nine bucks. I’ve got people to serve.”
Brother?
Did she say brother?
“Nine bucks?”
She held out her hand, whereas mine was shaking as I scavenged in my purse. I didn’t know if Dane had a split personality or something, but the bartender seemed to know him so well. I remember one time Dane said he had brothers, but no one on campus had ever mentioned it before, not until now. I handed her ten dollars and told her to keep the change. She didn’t need telling twice as she took the dough and moved toward the other side of the bar to serve the thirsty clients.
***
I had way too much to drink. What started as me only wanting one drink turned into two, or it could have been three, each time breaking it with a soda. Tanya text to ask if I was having a good time, and I told her I was and that she shouldn’t wait up for me.
I walked up to the stage, stood by the corner as the night came to an end, and we were asked to leave.
“Dane!” I shouted, then I remembered that he didn’t use that name here. “Daxon.”
He ushered to me with a wave of fright, his eyes wide as if he’d seen a ghost. “What are you doing here?”
He hadn’t noticed me all night. I’d tried my best to stay hidden. One of the bouncers was going to tell me to leave, then Dane told him to stop, and he did automatically.
“I came to see you,” I slurred, and I realized I had three glasses but then it had been a long night. Some people came and went, some ate the tapas they served at the bar. This was the problem, I never ate. I just sipped, watched Dane, and went to the bathroom on occasion, making sure I was at the corner of the bar, and making sure that when he took a break, I headed to the bathroom.
“Right.” He nodded, then he said, “One minute. I think you need something to eat.”
He didn’t appear happy to see me. If anything, it was the opposite. It was then that all I had been drinking started to not only go to my head, but I wanted to throw up so badly. I rushed to the bathroom like my life depended on it. Luckily, I made it on time as I threw up. All the contents of my drink came out, and I was so sick. Annoyed at making a fool of myself, I took my time as I headed to the sink and splashed water on my face. I looked a mess. I’d done my hair up in a bun and my dark makeup was smudged on my face.
I tidied myself up the best I could and then walked out as if I had all the problems in the world on my back.
“You look a sight, you okay?” he said.
I nodded.
“Right, let’s get you out of here. Lacey said you’ve been drinking wine all night and she doesn’t think that you’re used to it.”
I looked up at him, but he didn’t scold me. He smiled as if I was a lost puppy, one he’d been searching for and was about to take home. His home. At last, I would find out where he lived. I didn’t care because I was head-over-heels in love with this guy and nothing he did made me want to be away from him. If anything, it just wanted me to get to know him better. Dane was the hottest, sexiest man I knew, and best of all, he was all mine.