Page 101 of Born in Depravity

I closed my eyes before I thought better of it, my heart feeling like it was trying to claw its way out of my chest.

When he didn’t kiss me like I expected, I opened them to find his unreadable eyes still on me. I looked down, embarrassed. Was this rejection? He was the one who’d brought up kissing.

He lifted my chin until I looked at him. I didn’t want to, but I had a feeling he wouldn’t let this go. I grudgingly met his eyes.

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” he asked.

I bit my lip in consternation. I didn’t want to count Dr. Russo’s kiss because I didn’t kiss him back, but what if it counted?

My eyes burned a little from the thought and Mikhail frowned.

“What’s this? Why do you look like this?

I let out a sigh, my eyes searching for my notebook. But it was probably on the floor somewhere.

I could feel my breathing growing more labored, and I didn’t know why I was reacting like this, only I couldn’t make myself stop. I—

Mikhail cupped my cheeks with both hands.

I stilled and focused back on him.

“Okay?” he asked. His voice sounded rough for some reason.

I blinked, trying to clear my vision.

Was I okay?

I didn’t know.

I wasn’t really thinking, not really, not when I reached up until my lips touched his ear. Mikhail held still for me and I whispered all the terrible, ugly things Dr. Russo had done to me, from checking my hymen every few months since I was sixteen to that kiss he’d forced on me the day I had met with the man whom my father had picked to be my future husband.

My eyes stung but I didn’t cry when I whispered it all to him.

Somehow, it was easier to whisper them than it was to say them out loud. I didn’t think I was ready for that yet, but to use my voice like this felt almost liberating, and I didn’t feel sick like I usually did whenever I attempted to speak.

Mikhail held still and listened to every word I had to say.

I pulled away when I was done.

His eyes darkened with rage. “I want a name,kotyonok.”

A name?

I realized I’d never mentioned Dr. Russo by name. And judging by Mikhail’s eyes, I didn’t think I should give him a name. As terrible as the man was, I didn’t want blood on my hands.

And I didn’t know if Mikhail actually meant it. That he would kill for me.

I shook my head. He smiled and there was something corrupt about it. I shivered slightly.

“No? That’s fine. It won’t be hard for me to find out who the bastard is.”

I looked down at my hands on my lap. I was still naked, and as usual, Mikhail was fully clothed. I had only seen him naked that one other time, and I had looked away before I’d gotten a good look at him.

I pulled the covers over me.

Mikhail didn’t stop me, but waited until I looked up at him once more.

“Baby, that was stupid of them. Being a virgin doesn’t mean you would necessarily have a hymen.”

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