Page 104 of In Knots

“We’re meeting the others by the diner and then going for a cruise. It’ll be cool for you to meet everyone. You nervous about it?”

“No, excited,” I tell him. “I want to know everything about your lives.” I smile at him and he smiles right back, that expression that always seems to dazzle me. “Oh, I should bring my–” I halt, my face dropping.

“What is it, baby?” Buzz asks, wheeling his bike out towards the road.

“Oh it’s nothing. It just would have been a good opportunity to bring my camera. But it’s another thing I left behind. It doesn’t matter.” I say, trying to smile again and finding it almost impossible. I haven’t given my home and family much thought over the last few days – my brain too preoccupied with my body’s needs during the heat. Now it hits me like a ten-tonne truck. There isn’t much I will miss from home if I’m honest – Claude, my mum, Jonathan, my books, journals and photos, and my camera. I will feel lost without it. “I don’t know why I feel sad,” I mutter. “I wasn’t happy there. And I am here.”

“It’s OK to feel that way,” Bear says, pulling me in for a hug and kissing the crown of my head.

“My mum hated my dad’s guts by the end of their marriage,” Buzz says, “but she still missed him when he was gone. Emotions are funny like that. We can feel that sadness even for the things that hurt us.”

I nod against Bear’s chest. “Do you miss your dad?” I ask Buzz.

“Yeah, sometimes. I’ll remember some good time or something he did that made me happy. Then I’ll feel sad it couldn’t have been the way I’d’ve liked. But I have these knobheads and now I have you too, baby, so I’m just fine.”

“I think I will be too.”

“You will,” Bear assures me.

“And,” Cam adds, his face serious, “I promised I’d get you a proper camera–”

“You did?” I ask.

“I did.” He chuckles at me. “And I always keep my promises.” He wanders off into the office and returns a moment later with a battered, leather camera case on a string. He passes it to me and I pop open the lid. Inside rests an old SLR camera. “There’s film already loaded inside.”

“You didn’t buy her a digital one?” Buzz asks with a smile hovering on his lips.

“The film ones are better.”

“Is she going to be able to develop the photos anywhere though?”

Cam stares at us all. “Shit,” he mutters.

I laugh. “It’s wonderful, Cam. I always wanted one like this and I’ll find somewhere to get the pictures developed. Maybe I can even learn how to do it myself.”

“Hmmm,” he muses, sounding unconvinced.

“Alpha.” I reach up on my toes and kiss his mouth. “It’s perfect. Thank you.” He slides his hand up my back, brushing his thumb over my gland and kisses me back. “My pleasure, little one. I like buying you things.”

And again, I think perhaps I am more of a princess than I realised, because I like the gifts. I like them a lot. I like being spoiled by these men, but I think I will like finding ways to thank them even better.

“Come on,” Cam says, taking the camera from my hands and hooking it around my neck. “Let’s go.”

The day is another scorcher, but I’m surprisingly cool in my leathers, despite my body pressed against Bear’s warm body. The boys speed through the busy streets until we’re clear and out into the countryside. There they floor the bikes, racing each other along the empty roads, and air streams over my neck and my body. I’m less afraid of the bikes now, even when we’re riding so fast. I understand the movements, predetermining the way the vehicle will lean and canter. My body responds subconsciously and I no longer cling quite as tightly with my fingers or my thighs.

As the diner comes into view, we slow and I see at least ten other bikes parked up with a group of men gathered around. I guess these are the other members of the club. As we draw closer, I see most of the men are at least five years older than the pack. Some are even older with greying hair and weather-beaten faces.

Bear swings the bike into the car park and stops in front of the group, Cam, Ryan and Buzz pulling up alongside us.

Bear snaps up his visor and I do the same.

“You’re late,” says the man I can only assume is called Huge seeing as he is several inches taller and wider than anyone else. He’s grinning so I assume he’s not actually annoyed. “And you brought your girl. Is she the reason you’re late?”

“This is Alexa everyone.”

The older men all raise their hands in greeting towards me and one by one Bear introduces each of them. The guy who is Huge holds out his hand for me to shake when he’s introduced.

“My real name is Hugh,” he tells me. “How did these arseholes convince you to go out with a bunch of old farts like us?” Although he doesn’t look that old. 35 perhaps.

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