Page 81 of In Knots

Chapter 22

My mother spends the day fussing about the lunch, deciding what we’re wearing, how we’re fixing my hair, the shade of eyeshadow and lipstick. I let her, silent as she buzzes around my head.

Were my parents serious? Do they really intend to force me to marry Simon? Because I won’t. Even if my heart wasn’t already straining in a different direction, I couldn’t marry a man like that.

So, what am I going to do? What are my choices?

I’m hoping that today Simon will reveal himself, that I can somehow provoke him into acting like the prat he really is. Then my parents will understand. They’ll realise he isn’t as suitable as they think he is, and they’ll change their minds.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do if this plan fails.

I could run, I could leave.

But could I really do that? Leave my family and my friends and everything I know. As if he suspects what I’m considering, Claude leaps up into my lap and meows at me loudly.

I ruffle the hair around his ears and give the top of his head a sloppy kiss. He closes his eyes and leans into my touch.

If I did leave, where would I go? The alphas? Would they take me in? There isn’t even room in their tiny little apartment for me.

And do they want the responsibility of an omega? An omega who has never worked a proper day in her life?

I would be a weight around their necks, and I don’t want to be that.

What do I want?

Them?

Yes, them.

It’s like a beat, a drum, in my heart. Them constantly. Them all the time. It doesn’t stop. I know it’s them that I want. But it frightens me.

If I want them, if I really want them, I will have to throw this life away. I would have to start a new one. I would have to leave my family.

I kiss Claude again, feeling like my heart might break right in two.

Just before one, Jonathan brings the car to the drive, and the three of us step out into the heat.

I’m ducking down through the door of the car when my father stops me with a hand on my shoulder.

“Alexa,” he says, “remember, you’re representing the family. Don’t embarrass me. Be a good girl, on your best behaviour.” I glare at him.

“Aren’t I always?” I say with venom, and it’s clear he doesn’t know how to respond. He simply scowls at me and slips around to the other side of the car, seating himself in the passenger seat.

The journey to the Stanford’s house happens in silence. Even my mother doesn’t bother with her usual chirpy commentary today. We glide past the other large houses in Greendale, sprinklers working hard to keep the grass emerald green and the flowers blooming. The water droplets catch the light, sparkling like diamonds in the air.

Diamonds.

Will Simon offer me a diamond today? I hope not. I hope I can avoid a proposal. Hope that he won’t ask me in front of our parents. Hope I won’t be forced to say no.

But I don’t think I’ll be that lucky. I smooth my hands over the skirt of my pale dress. The motion catches my mother’s eye.

“Stop fidgeting, Alexa,” she says, “you’ll crease that dress.” Then her head snaps back to the window and she peers through the pane.

The house comes into view. I’ve never been to this one before. But it’s just like all the others. A large mansion hidden behind a tall gate that parts as the car approaches. We travel up another sweeping driveway and approach the wide doors of the house. They open as we come to a stop, and Simon’s parents wait for us on the doorstep. My father comes around and opens my mother’s door, offering his hand and helping her out, and I scuttle along behind them.

Mrs. Stanford greets us with a wide smile and open arms, kissing my mother on the cheek, and then my father.

“So pleased to have you all here,” she chirps, her eyes sparkling with excitement, and her husband nods behind her.

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