Page 94 of In Knots

Cam raises his hand. “I know, I’m not saying that is right. But family is important and, once you’ve burned your bridges, you may not be able to find your way home.”

“I want to start living my own life,” I tell him, squaring my jaw.

Bear rolls us up to sit, bunching one of the blankets around us.

“What’s your problem with this, Cam?” he jerks his chin at his pack mate. “It’s fucking clear you want Alexa. You’ve said as much.”

He looks at me and shakes his head as if he can’t bring himself to say what he’s thinking.

“Say it,” I tell him. “Say what you’re thinking. You can’t hurt me.”

“If I’m honest, Alexa, I’m worried we’re a bit of fun for you. That we’re different to guys you’ve been with before–”

“I haven’t been with guys before!”

“Is this about Lady Chatterley?” Bear asks him.

Cam says nothing and Ryan answers my puzzled expression.

“He had this girlfriend a few years back,” he tells me. “Some rich girl studying art and literature at Crestmore – you know the posh college in the centre of town.” I nod, still watching Cam. “We used to call her Lady Chatterley because she talked like you, princess? Like she had a plum in her mouth. And she liked it rough, liked to ride Cam’s bike with him. But she never introduced him to any of her friends or her family. You really fell for that one, didn’t you, mate?”

Cam still refuses to speak.

“What happened?” I ask.

“She met some rich guy. They moved to London. Have a fuck-off big house.”

“It’s fun and exciting now,” Cam says, “but what happens when reality kicks in. When you can’t afford your pretty dresses and your nice meals. When we have to turn the thermostat down because we can’t afford the bloody heating. When we’re working ten days straight to get a job done and you’re all alone.”

“None of those things matter to me–”

“You think that now–”

“I know that,” I say as firmly as I can muster. More pain starts to stab in my gut and my limbs shake. “Those things don’t matter to me. They never have. The only thing I’ll miss is my cat!” I crawl towards Cam, noting how he tries to keep his eyes locked on mine but how they flicker down my naked body anyway. “And Lady Chatterley, do you remember what happened to her?”

“Yes,” he says. “She left her husband. Ran off with the gardener.”

“She chose love and desire over money and status. Do you really think I’d choose any differently, Alpha?”

He peers deep into my eyes and his are swirling with emotion. “No, Alexa. No I don’t think you would.”

I nod and then I press my lips to his, reaffirming everything I’ve just said with the movement of my mouth against his.

He cups his hands around my face and kisses me back. I could get used to kissing this man. His kisses are delicious. Considered and careful one moment, passionate and animalistic the next. It keeps me guessing. Keeps everything in my body tingling with desire.

But there’s more behind these kisses too. Emotions and feelings I can read. His hurt, his fear, how much he cares about me. I soothe them all away with my own kisses, wanting him to know I’m different. I won’t leave him. I’m here for good.

Just when I’m starting to moan and groan, needing another orgasm to satisfy me and abate the pain building in my gut, he leans away and rubs the pad of his thumb along my jawline.

“What do you want to do, Alexa?”

“Do? I think you know, Alpha.”

“You are in heat, Alexa. Do you want …” he trails off, and his eyes flick up to the others.

“What?” I ask, looking at the others too.

“There’s four of us here, princess. Four alphas willing to see you through this heat.”

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