Page 46 of Glass

“I know.” All of this is believable.

“But then she told me about the kids, Poppy. I didn’t know what the hell to do. She wanted to use them as a bargaining chip, but I couldn’t do that to any of us. We were all just trying to heal from them, so I carried the weight of it by myself. I kept tabs on the rest of you for Mom, and in return, she gave me updates about the other kids.”

He chokes up with emotion and lets out a few pain-filled, wheezing breaths. My own breathing has grown shallow and ragged in my ears. Felix holds my hand tighter; I can’t bear to look at him for fear of falling apart at the pity I’m certain shines in his eyes.

“Every call or letter from Mom… I stored every detail she shared until I could pinpoint exactly where she was. So many of the letters came from places she had never actually been, but she slipped up just once. And I tracked her and Dad to South Dakota.”

He tracked her there before I did and never said a word. As much as it stings, things are finally starting to make sense to me, and I’m unraveling the strings of how the good parts of our family fell apart.

“It was already too late, Poppy. The Sovereign Pack had found them first, dealing with them quietly. By the time I got there, the kids had already left with another family that the Sovereign Pack chose to spare. I trailed them at first, but when they realized it, they spooked and abandoned our siblings in the middle of nowhere. At that point, I had to make a decision.” A decision he made without the rest of us, I realize bitterly. None of us ever got the chance to have our own say.

“We were struggling to find places for ourselves—our parents’ reputation followed us everywhere those first years after we split up. Bringing those kids back to shifter civilization with me meant forcing them to spend the rest of their lives being Glass kids. And it fucking hurt, Poppy. I didn’t want to be a Glass anymore; why should I subject them to it?”

Gabe breaks off, pacing to the windows and stopping there to stare out restlessly at the streets of New York. Everyone out there continues about their lives, unaware that there’s a halestorm of emotion exploding up here, upending all of our lives.

How many times did I have the same thought as Gabe? How many times did I wish I wasn’t a Glass?

“Sit the fuck down,” Felix growls, interrupting the emotion-packed moment I’m sharing with my brother. At first, I gape at him in surprise, thinking he’s talking to Gabe.

Then I realize he’s talking to Frank, who’s managed to slink closer to the door. Not that there’s anywhere for him to go. Felix and I both stand between Frank and the exit. I might be a little distracted at the moment, but Felix is paying attention and won’t leave me vulnerable or open to attack.

“I didn’t sign up for a fucking soap opera,” Frank grumbles.

“There’s only one way out of this apartment until I say otherwise.” Felix fixes him with a hard stare and points at the balcony door. It’s a long way down from up here, and we’re too far up to even consider that he might survive the drop.

Frank huffs, shaking his head, but takes a seat on the couch. He leans back, like he’s making himself comfortable and plans to be here a while, but I don’t think we have that luxury. I need to resolve things with my brother and move on. I spent way too long missing my family to hold a grudge now. I’m hurt, but in time, I think I’ll understand the choice he made, even if I don’t agree with it.

I look at Gabe to find him staring back at me. I realize now how much this secret has aged him as I take in the fine lines on his face that none of my other siblings show yet.

“I didn’t leave them alone to die, Poppy. That was the best I could do. I had a tracker friend that knew a guy with a reputation for saving people. A doctor. They would go live safely among The Lost and no one would ever have to know where they came from.” Gabe glances at Felix. “They wouldn’t have their blood family, but they’d get a found family.”

I curl myself into Felix’s side. His body is tense, and I know it has to be hard for him to let me handle this situation without his input. I’m honored he trusts me to do it. I know how much Alphas like to step in and handle things for their packs and their mates, but he’s showing me unbelievable respect by trusting me to know what I need at this moment.

Only one question lingers in my mind that Gabe hasn’t addressed.

“I want to ask you one thing,” I tell him.

“Anything.” He crosses his heart emphatically with his hand. A gesture I haven’t seen him do since we were all very young. It used to be a promise between kids, and it makes my heart skip a beat to see him do it now.

Nothing between family is ever forgotten or lost—only changed with time.

Just like the scar on my brother’s arm that’s upside down.ThatI don’t want to ask about; I can draw my own conclusions. It’s jagged enough for me to tell that he must have done it to himself. And after seeing the evidence of how much he’s punished himself for his choices, I think it was his way of forcing himself to bear the reminder.

He took the ugliness from my mother’s symbol and reclaimed it. Upside down in honor of the family he lost in order to save them.

“I want to understand that you made a hard choice when you felt like you didn’t have any good options, but… All those times Tasha and I asked you for help while we were trying to track the kids. Why didn’t you say something then?” There were so many unexplained dead-ends, but I never dared think he was leading us away from the kids instead of toward them.

He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he struggles to gather his thoughts. A myriad of expressions cross over his face: guilt, sorrow, and even a touch of peace.

“Things had gotten better for us thanks to the connection with the Jarreaus. It didn’t feel so bad to be Glass all of a sudden. People started seeing us as individuals and welcoming us into packs and into their lives.” Gabe walks toward me, shoving one hand deep in his pocket. My heart hurts so badly at how hard I can tell this is for him.

“I could have told you the truth and taken you right to them.” He hesitates. “But with the Luna Sovereign involved, I didn’t know what lengths Tasha would go to in order to help you take them back. And I couldn’t take that risk.”

His solemn words hang in the air. I’ve never met anyone as diplomatic as Tasha Jarreau, a true leader through-and-through, but I’ve also never met anyone as loyal. She vowed to help me find the lost Glass kids, and that meant she would do anything within her power to make it happen.

The reality of Gabe’s impossible choices sinks in.

“So you chose to protect The Lost,” I say softly, ignoring the way Felix grows stiffer against me. I’m sure he worries that I’ll blame him somehow, but that’s not the direction my thoughts have gone. Not even close.