Page 67 of The Nanny and the Heartthrob

“Score one for Bonbon Barbie,” she announced and closed in on the plant. Bubbly jubilation surged through her when she spied the price tag.

“Three eighty-nine, people,” she called out like a game show host.

She could buy this half-dead houseplant and have some extra cash. She trotted to the cashier as “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves played. The peppy music spoke to her, and she added a little spring to her step.

Her life might be a giant shit show, but finding this cheap plant was a win, albeit a small win, but a victory, no less.

She set the plant on the counter. Feeling like a million bucks—or a solid five—then spied a clear plastic jar bursting with cute little pencil erasers. Happiness took over as she spied a tiny hot dog, a mini donkey, and a cute camera eraser.

What a find.

Phoebe, Sebastian, and Oscar would go crazy for these. It was like the universe wanted her to be at this convenience store at this very moment.

She checked the price.

Twenty-five cents a pop.

Woohoo!

Not only would she show up with a housewarming gift, but she would also come armed with treasures for the kids—and school supplies, no less. With the school year starting in a couple of weeks, not only were these giftshellathoughtful, they werehellapractical.

Talk about being a considerate friend.

She collected the tiny items, then noticed a miniature piano beneath a hamburger-shaped eraser. “What’s one more?” she mused before adding the small black and white rubbery instrument to the mix. She could use it in one of her Bonbon Barbie lessons.

She smiled at the cashier—a young man wearing a beanie withHigh AF Good Vibes Onlyprinted next to a marijuana leaf. She wasn’t into that scene, but she’d accept every drop of positive energy this day would give her. “I’ll take these erasers and the…” She stared at the counter.

Where the hell was the housewarming gift?

She looked over her shoulder and found the old tongue clucker holding the plant—her plant—the perfect present for Libby and Raz.

“That’s mine, lady. Hand it over,” she demanded as “Walking on Sunshine” continued to play. She could direct a little sunshine toward the crusty gal. She grinned at the woman. “Please, hand over my plant,” she said like the ray of sunshine she was. “I set the plant down to pick out erasers for my friends’ kids. I’m buying the plant and the erasers because I’m a good person.”

Boom!

The woman crinkled her face into a deep scowl. “You set it down. If you set it down, that means you don’t want it.”

All right, grandma, the gloves were coming off.

Harper scrunched up her face and lowered her voice. “I’m telling you, I will be purchasing that plant.”

“I want it,” the old gal tossed back. “I like the pot.”

Dammit, Katrina and the Waves.

Screw walking on sunshine. It was time to channel some darkness.

She narrowed her gaze. “Listen, lady, I have five dollars to my name. And come hell or high water, I am buying this plant and these four erasers. You will have to fight me for this half-dead fern, or whatever the hell kind of plant it is. I’m not a botanist. But I can promise you this. I am prepared to die on this hill—this plant and eraser-laden hill. They’ll have to erect my tombstone next to the cash register. That’s how far I’m willing to go. Whatcha gonna do, granny? Are you ready to throw down for this plant?”

The woman gasped and set the plant on the counter with a pronounced thud. “Well, I’ve never seen such atrocious behavior,” she hissed before making a beeline toward the soda dispensers.

“Atrocious Behavior is my middle name, sister,” she called, then set the five items on the counter feeling like a gangster—a convenience store OG.

The clerk gave her the once-over, then sniffed the air.

Could she catch a break, please?

“I get it. I smell like chocolate death warmed-over,” she snipped, riding her OG plant high. “Just ring me up, Mr. HighAF. I’m in a hurry.”

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