Page 49 of Sapphires and Secrets (Harlow)

“I’ve made a heartfelt effort to come here and say I’m sorry.” She forced her gaze onto him, her defenses winding her nerves to within snapping point.

“And what, you figured that ‘effort’ deserved an automatic reward?” He leaned over, his hands pressing to the bench on either side of her, caging her in. The heat coming off him made her own temperature rise, and she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to kiss him or fight him. “Ever since you arrived in Harlow, you’ve been little more than trouble to me. I like having the upper hand for a change.”

Her fingers dug into the bench’s timber, counteracting her desire to run, like a deeper part of her wanted to see where this confrontation led. With Anthony, she’d been deathly afraid of confrontation, not with Blaine. How strange. “You’re the one who waltzed back into my house and kissed me. You’re the one who started all of this.”

A tiny hint of a smile wobbled the edges of his lips; lips she was having trouble not staring at.

“Oh, so now it’s back to my fault again, is it?” No doubt he had fun watching her squirm, though in the quiet moment that passed, his gaze searched hers, suggesting he did a fair amount of squirming too. “Some apology this is.”

He pushed off the bench, turning his back.

The lump in her throat settled deeper, and she frowned, confused and anguished at his flip-flopping brand of resistance. Her situation was far from ideal, and yet, she’d come here, open to at least allowing him back into her life if only in some small way.

But if Blaine wasn’t sure, if he wanted to be another man in her life expecting her to grovel, then she wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

A barely audible growl abraded through her throat, and she forced herself forward, charging toward the exit, set to leave. What had happened to the endearing boy she’d once known?

“Couldn’t my word have been enough?”His voice boomed across the space, and she stopped at his words. Words that echoed and reverberated. Words. Words. And more words.

“You think words mean anything”—she gave a tight laugh and refused to turn around—“to someone like me?”

Maybe Blaine did have nothing to do with all the years of lies and control, everything that had rotted her life and left her with nothing to show for her pain. But he’d been privy to enough of what she’d lived through to guess that trust couldn’t be an automatic thing. Not now. Not ever.

“I told you.” His voice lowered a little, like perhaps he’d read the subtext in her statement. “Sarah wasn’t someone you needed to worry about. I understand you’ve had some shady characters in your life, but you have to—”

She spun around and glared at him, daring him to finish that sentence so she could let herself off the hook and finally walk out of his life forever.

Instead, his face paled, and he pulled back. “Oh, geez. I’m sorry.”

She’d taken all the hurt for those “shady characters,” and he’d been witness to the manipulation. He’d lived a small moment of her torment.

She marched toward him and grabbed the front of his shirt in both hands, not allowing him to step away, her skin prickling with a need to be heard. “I don’t want your apology, and I deserve your anger, I get it. I exposed you to all the horrible things around me, and yes, in recent times, I’ve led you on and failed to give you a chance to explain. If I had, there wouldn’t have been that scene at the bar. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. And I’ll never stop being sorry when it comes to you. I’ve messed you around since the very beginning, but none of it was intended. In the years you haven’t known me, things have only gotten worse. I’m an impulsive mess. I can’t remember the last time I had a thought not muddied by what-ifs and second guesses. But this is my life right now, Blaine. Take it or leave it.”

She released her grip and sagged back.

To her astonishment, he didn’t step away. The muscles in his jaw bunched as he ground his teeth together, denoting some kind of deep response he wasn’t yet ready to share.

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