Page 25 of Kayden: The Past
10
Lost & Found - Danielle
Ronand I talked before Danielle and I officially became an item. I needed his blessing, the okay from an old friend. She meant nothing to him. He had his choice of any girl out there. He was successful, good-looking, and a catch. Danielle was just a fuck toy for him. She was his arm candy for events, but he had no real use for her and didn’t see a future for them. I took his blessing and grabbed the reins, making Danielle mine.
Danielle rescued me from my loneliness. We didn’t get to see each other much, but the time we did spend together meant everything to me, though I never did get past the issue of her being a stripper. We talked about moving in together, and I felt it was right; my only hang-up was her line of work.
I learned everything I could about Danielle. She came from a broken home, and her mom was on her second marriage, much like my mother, although I’d had my father for most of my life. She’d started to dance to save money for college, but she never found the time or motivation to go after she started making the big money and becoming immersed in the adult industry. She’d never been engaged and had a couple boyfriends through the years. She was like me—a troubled home drove her to addiction at an early age. We were a matched set of fucked-up reality.
“D, I want to live with you, too, but I need you to do something for me first.” We sat on the couch facing each other, talking about the pros and cons of getting rid of one of our places. We spent all of our time off together, and it seemed a waste of money.
“What, sweetheart?” She fidgeted with her hands and looked at her fingers.
I touched her chin and moved her face upward. I needed to look into her eyes. “I need you to stop stripping. I can’t stand other men looking at you and seeing you naked.”
“I make such good money, though.”
“Baby, we’ll be living together. I make great money. Isn’t there something else you can do? I’m too jealous of a person to have you continue. It’s been killing me.”
“I know how to make drinks. I guess I could bartend or something.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just used to the cash I get dancing.”
“You aren’t a dancer. Guys don’t come there to see your moves. They come there to see your tits and ass. It’s my tits and ass now, and I won’t have you naked in front of strangers. I can’t, or we’ll never make it.”
“Okay, Kayden. I’ll put my notice in and look for a bartending job. Anything to be with you. I didn’t think I’d be ‘dancing’ this long. The money made it too hard to quit, but for you…I will.” I smiled at her last two words.
I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Every night that she worked, I’d do anything to keep myself busy and not think of her naked on the stage. I usually turned to the bottle, although her working at a bar wasn’t the best solution either, but at least her clothes would stay on. I grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. She’d made me happy with the knowledge. Soon a major stress in our relationship would be over.
“It means the world to me, sweetheart. Your place or mine?” I didn’t want to live at her place. It was cute but cramped and all chick.
“Yours is bigger, and I can break my lease anytime. I don’t have much stuff to pack up, and it would just be easier. I hate this neighborhood, too.”
“I won’t argue with you on all those points. I’ll help you pack when you’re ready.” I stroked her cheek and felt at peace, but I was still anxious about taking this step. Bridget had ruined me for totally trusting a woman. She’d stabbed me in the heart at the last moment, but I should have known better. I wasn’t on her economic rung of the ladder.
“I can start packing this week and maybe move in on the weekend?” She raised her eyebrows, waiting for my seal of approval.
“I’ll come help, too. You can’t do it all on your own, babe.”
The next weekend, Danielle incorporated all of her pink knickknacks and pillows with my mostly brown interior. My sports memorabilia was quickly overtaken by her love of stuffed animals, something called Beanie Babies. They looked useless to me, but who was I to judge. My apartment was a shrine to Cleveland sports, and they hadn’t won a damn thing since before I was born.
Danielle gave her boss notice the day after we decided to move in together. She found a job at a hip new bar down the street and would be able to walk to work, and it allowed me to be close enough to keep an eye on her—more for her safety than my sanity.
I received a promotion at work too. I was now the assistant store manager. The company I worked for knew of my sales skills at my old job, and I hadn’t disappointed since my hiring. I was being groomed for the manager position and would replace someone in another location when an opening became available. I had skills when it came to selling people on an item, and I could always upsell them and get them to spend more than they had planned. Everything seemed to be going my way. A beautiful woman in my bed each night, a salaried job with bonuses, and life was looking up for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.
We never talked about marriage in the months following her moving in. I wanted to take the relationship as slow possible, but the universe had other plans…grander ones that were out of our control.
“Kayden, I’m late,” she said, walking out of the bathroom in her sexy teddy and rubbing lotion into her skin.
“For what?” I looked at her, confused by the statement.
“Dumbass, my period.” My stomach instantly flipped over as I sat against the headboard, staring at her in disbelief.
“You’re pregnant?” I was dumbfounded, and the dumb-ass label totally fit me in the moment. My mind started to race with the thought of a baby and how it would change our lives and eventually our relationship.
“I don’t know. I just know I was supposed to get my period days ago, and it never happened. I’ve always been regular and never missed a period before.” She crawled under the covers and faced me with her head lying on her pillow.
I probably looked like an idiot with a million emotions crossing my face at once—happiness, shock, amazement, and fear. Fear was the winning emotion at that moment. I know she was looking at me, waiting for my excitement, but I didn’t think we were ready to be parents. We both drank regularly and used drugs. I quit using coke on a regular basis, but we both smoked weed almost nightly to help us sleep. Sleep was something that was never easy for me to do, but the relaxation marijuana brought me helped me enter a peaceful slumber. It wasn’t the way I thought I’d bring a child into this world.
“Wow. I don’t know what else to say. What now?” I asked.
