Page 43 of Kayden: The Past
15
A Piece of Home - Lisa
I’d been livingwith my mom for a month, and Facebook became my link to my old friends and hometown. A beautiful blonde caught my eye when scrolling through my suggestions one day. Lisa Jackson. She graduated a year after me, but I noticed she lived in the same town I did in Florida. We didn’t date or hang out in the same circles in high school, but she was in some of my classes and had always seemed nice. I sent her a request and waited. I didn’t have many friends besides the guys from work and the older ones at my parents’ club. I could use a breath of fresh air.
I closed down the computer and headed to bed. I’d worked seven days a week lately, looking to make as much money as possible. I’d moved in to my own place and needed to make my bills each month, along with extra cash for my evenings. I felt exhausted, but it gave me a purpose each day.
I checked Facebook the next morning before jumping into the shower. Lisa had accepted my request, and I had a message waiting.
Lisa: Hey, Kayden. I see you live nearby. We should get together some night.
It was only five a.m., and I knew she wasn’t on, but I wanted to respond to her.
Me: That would be great. I’m heading to work, but I’ll be back on later tonight if you want to catch up.
We chatted well after midnight that night, talking about Ohio and what our friends were doing with their lives. I felt lost in Florida without a close group like I had in Cleveland. We talked online for days before we exchanged phone numbers, and we talked until we fell asleep. I couldn’t recall any of the early conversations—maybe I’d blocked as much out of my mind as I could. I wasn’t entirely sure why I had a hole in my memory when I thought about my time with Lisa.
Lisa and I met a week later for a drink. Her mouth was dirty, and she had an aura about her. She was full of energy and spunk, and I wanted to wrap myself up in it—not as part of a relationship but as a close friend in a foreign place. We started hanging out, watching football, shopping, and having dinner, but it changed along the way.
We shared our stories of lost love. We’d both lost people whom we cared for due to cheating. We could understand each other and knew the pain the other felt. I felt comfortable with her, sharing my emotions with her without feeling like a total pussy. Being betrayed in that manner caused such extreme heartache. Lisa and I had a commonality that drew us together. She became part of my life, part of my world, and I was immersed in hers. I couldn’t imagine not talking to or seeing Lisa. Somewhere, my hatred of relationships vanished, and we became an item.
I wished I could travel back in time and tell myself to run away.Don’t look back…run—she’s the devil in disguise. But knowing me, I wouldn’t have listened. The breakup with Danielle was still fresh in my mind when I fell into Lisa. Maybe she was my rebound, but I jumped in headfirst and became infatuated with her. I should have slowed things down and gotten to know her more, but I never took the easy way and most certainly not the right way… I liked the bumpy path filled with debris.
We moved in together within months. Neither of us saw a reason to pay an extra rent, and we spent all of our free time together. She rented a house in an upscale neighborhood, and she wanted to share it with me. I was hesitant, but I felt Lisa would never cross me the way the others had in the past.
You never really knew someone until you lived with them. You didn’t know about their bad days, their wicked ways, and their cruelty. But by the time you found out, you were so far lost that you needed a wake-up call for you to comprehend it. Neither of us wanted to get married—just being in a relationship was a leap for me—but sometimes, your heart takes you somewhere your mind says do not wander.
Lisa and I had a wild sex life. We were like dynamite. Everything was explosive and violent at times. I was in such a dark place in my life, and the dynamic of our relationship fit me. She liked to be smacked in the face when fucked. She wanted bruises on her skin, and she clawed mine, leaving her mark, warding off other women; although, she claimed that wasn’t the reason.
We fucked everywhere and anywhere. On an airplane—I earned my wings. At my class reunion—three times in the bathroom. On the side of the road—happened more than once. She liked the thrill of possibly being caught, and she made me feel alive again. I felt wanted when I was with her.
My cock did the thinking and led me astray. It betrayed me more than any woman ever had.
Every relationship has a honeymoon period, a time where everything is sunshine and fairy tales, but eventually, the bottom drops out and reality smacks you in the face. Things began to change slowly. Mainly, she changed—her personality grew volatile, and her mood swings made my head spin. I was entrenched at that point, and our worlds had become entwined.
Lisa turned controlling and demanding. I didn’t notice it at first. She did small things in the beginning: asking who was on the phone, checking my text messages, and logging in to my email. Alarm bells didn’t sound. I just thought she was concerned. But every night, we’d fight over the crazy shit she made up in her mind. I turned to the bottle to deal with her crazy-ass bullshit and unfounded accusations.
“Are you on Facebook again?” she asked me, standing over my shoulder at the desk.
“Yeah, I was just talking to Ron,” I said, pointing at the screen.
“I know you’re talking to girls. Get the fuck off there!” I’d never had a girl be jealous to the extreme or suspicious of all my actions like Lisa.
“Okay, calm down,” I said. That statement is the kiss of death; it starts half the arguments in the world. It doesn’t help and is patronizing, but I didn’t know what else to say. She was already in a shitty mood, and I didn’t need a fight tonight.
I turned the computer off and started to put on my shoes. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
“Out.” I stood up, leaving the laces undone. I just wanted to get the fuck out.
“We need to talk.”
“About what?” I stood there and jiggled my keys in my hand.
“You seeing other women.”
I rolled my eyes. “Lisa, I’m not seeing anyone. I’m not a cheater. How many times do I need to tell you this?”
“Bullshit. I can smell a cheater.”
