Page 54 of Kayden: The Past
17
Auld Lang Syne - Lisa
Lisa bookedher ticket and would be spending three days and two nights with me, including New Year’s Eve. My stomach ached, my heart thundered in my chest, and my palms grew wet against the steering wheel as I drove to the airport. I hadn’t seen her in months, and I didn’t want to get sucked in and lose myself again. I finally felt like me again, the Kayden I used to be before the ladies in my life decided to use me as a rug.
I sat near the exit and waited for her to appear through the endless line of people. I checked my watch because flight should have landed by now. Maybe she’d changed her mind and didn’t get on the plane, realizing what a clusterfuck this would turn out to be. I leaned forward in my chair while a sense of relief and calm overcame me as I stared at my feet. She wasn’t coming—I could breathe again.
Furry boots stopped in front of me, and I slowly looked up. She’d made the flight and stood before me with a giant smile on her face. She looked relaxed and happy. She looked like the girl I first met to chat with over drinks so long ago. “Hey, stranger,” she said, her eyes crinkling into little slits from the large smile on her face.
I stood up, and she wrapped her arms around my waist. She melted into my body, a feeling I knew well and a comfort that I’d been used to and felt the loss of late at night. I wrapped my arms around her and inhaled the scent of her as I held her. She buried her face in my chest and squeezed me so tight that my chest hurt. “Hey,” I said, grabbing her arms, trying to pry her off me.
“Sorry about that,” she said as she let go and wiped her eyes. “I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.” She looked me in the eyes. “I’m so sorry, Kayden.”
“Ready?” I wouldn’t say I felt happy as I stood with her in the airport. I felt more on edge than I had in months.
“Yes.”
I grabbed the bag out of her hand and started walking toward the exit. She walked quickly to catch up to me before reaching out to hold my hand. I didn’t pull away from the contact. She’d be sharing my bed for two nights. I needed to get used to it even if it made me uncomfortable.
I still felt betrayed, but I knew I’d played a role. My drinking had been a cause, as well as my inability to control my temper. I’d been just as big of an asshole as she had that night. The ride to my apartment was quiet, quieter than any time I could ever remember between us, and tension filled the air. She stroked my arm as I drove, and I felt relieved as I parked the truck in the apartment lot.
“Come on,” I said as I opened my door and climbed out of the truck. The air had grown cold after the sunset, and a gust of wind caused me to shiver as I pulled her bag out of the back of the truck.
“Shit, I’m freezing.” She wrapped her sweater around her body a little tighter as she followed behind me through the courtyard.
“It’s not bad. Not like Florida, but nowhere near as shitty as Ohio.” I unlocked the door, and found Tom in the living room.
“Tom, this is Lisa,” I said as I kicked off my shoes, and Lisa walked into the apartment.
“Hey,” Tom said, looking at Lisa with suspicion. The guy knew all about Lisa. I had spilled my guts on what she’d put me through, and they thought I was fucking crazy letting her come here. Maybe he was right.
“Hi,” she said as she looked around the apartment, judging the way we lived. I could almost see the wheels spinning in her head because she was so deep in thought.
“Want to stay out here or go in my room?” I asked.
“Room, please.” She smiled, but I could tell the joy on her face wasn’t real.
Lisa followed me to my bedroom and set her purse on the dresser. “This is it?” she asked.
“It’s all I have, remember?”
“I do. I just didn’t think… I thought you had more.”
“Lisa, I left with nothing. You have all my things. What you see is what I have to my name.”
“I never thought of it that way. I’m sorry.” She wrapped her arms around me. “Are you okay?”Where did this tender, caring Lisa come from?
“I’m fine, Lisa. I’ve been happy and have all I need.”
“Can’t we try again?” I could feel her heartbeat against my chest.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. We’d just end in disaster again.”
She moved away from me and sat on the bed, looking like she’d just lost her best friend. “I know… You’re right. Can we just enjoy these few days? Like old times.” My version of old times had to be different than hers. Enjoy wasn’t a term I’d use to describe our last few months together—more like torture. It went both ways, and we fed off each other.
“Can you at least send me my clothes or something?” I asked as I sat down next to her.
“I brought a couple things with me.” She kneeled down on the floor and pulled out a couple sweaters. They weren’t much, but in that moment, they felt like everything to me. She handed them to me, and I placed them on the bed. I reached out and helped her off the floor.
