Page 18 of Throttle Me (Men of Inked 1)
“Nowhere, I was just going to unlock the door.” I shrugged, keeping my arms down and not melting into his touch.
“You okay, sugar?” he asked looking at my eyes with a question on his face.
“Yeah. The wind made my eyes water.” I smiled at him.
“Glasses will block the wind. We’ll have to get you a pair.” Thank god he bought that crock of shit. He wrapped his arms around me, smashing my face in his t-shirt. I inhaled, enjoying the musky scent in the material. I closed my eyes and lavished in the smell of him.
“Maybe.” I felt shitty and my heart ached. Why bother buying me glasses? I didn’t plan to spend the rest of my life riding on the back of his bike. Although Sophia and Kayden were opposites, they worked, but City and I didn’t have a future.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, squeezing me tighter.
“Nothing. I’m just tired.” I squeezed him back and relished in the feel of his tight muscles. Don’t say it; don’t look like a girl whose head is filled with fairy tales.
“Sugar, that’s bullshit. You’ve never walked away from me or been snippy. Your sparkles gone. Spill.”
Don’t do it. He isn’t your knight in shining armor riding in on a white horse.
Shifting my weight, I stared at the ground trying to avoid his gaze. “Nothing, City. I just need sleep. I swear.” That lie felt easier than I thought.
“Look me in the eyes and say that.” He pulled my chin up, forcing me to look into the clear azure eyes that showed sadness. I swallowed hard and steadied my breathing. I knew he could read me like an open book, everyone could, and I had to pull this off. Don’t cry, blink girl – breath.
“I’m just tired, really.” I stood on my tiptoes and placed my lips against his. This would be the last time I’d kiss him. I couldn’t spend more time with him without risking my heart. I could fall in love with him easily, but I wouldn’t risk the heartbreak that would follow. “Call me tomorrow?” I said as I backed away.
“You don’t want me to come in, beautiful?” he asked drawing his brows together and studying my face.
“Not tonight, City. I want to crawl in bed and drift off. If you come in I know what will happen.” I grinned at him as a sly smile spread across his face. He ran his finger down my cheek and I wanted to lean in to it, I wanted more. “No, no. Don’t even think about it.” I giggled as he tried pulling me into a kiss. “Down, tiger.”
“Tomorrow then,” he said as he kissed me on the lips.
I instantly felt the loss of his heat as he let go of my body and I looked at him. He really was beautiful. He looked like every girl’s fantasy with his bike behind him, hard muscles, amazing lover, dreamy eyes, and kindness. I couldn’t let myself fall any deeper for him. Every time my phone rang, my text alert chirped, or I stood in his presence, my heart raced. My heart and body responded to him, but my mind kept saying run. He wasn’t the type that settled down and had a family and I couldn’t blame him. He was a playboy that led a different life than I did. He was on a different path.
I stood at a fork in the road – travel down the path of heartbreak and further immerse myself in his world or make a clean break and continue on my journey to my ultimate destination of happiness and the love I couldn’t live without.
“Tomorrow, big boy,” I said with a meek smile and waved to him before disappearing inside the house without watching him drive away. I threw my keys on the table, walking through the darkened house to my bedroom. My eyes felt heavy and they burned from the tears that wanted to break free.
The roar of his engine made the walls in my bedroom rattle. I’d never hear that sound again without thinking of him and feeling butterflies in my stomach. He’d altered my thoughts and invaded my mind.
I undressed and put on my favorite comfy pajamas, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. I wanted to turn back the clock to a time when life felt simpler. When I didn’t know the pure animal magnetism and sexual chemistry like I felt with him, but I couldn’t. He ruined me and stole that from me.
My phone vibrated as I turned it in my hand and caught a glimpse of his message.
City: It’s tomorrow – one minute after midnight.
Setting the phone on my nightstand, I stared at the empty bed and thought of how different the night could’ve been.
Me: Night, City. Drive safely.
I crawled under the sheets, loving the crisp material against my skin. I stared at the ceiling and watched the fan whirl causing a shadow to form against the white background. I couldn’t fall asleep and turned on the television praying that the mindless entertainment would help calm my thoughts and help me forget him.
My phone danced across the wooden surface. Don’t pick it up. I couldn’t do it. I wanted to see if I could break free of him – quit cold turkey like a junkie? I had to try to put distance between us, I’d only known him a week but he invaded my life.
Flipping through the channels, I stopped on a show about a group of bikers. I’d heard about the show but never found interest in it until now. I couldn’t bring myself to turn it off. Every man on the screen reminded me of him. The roar of the engines made my heart flutter and my stomach hurt. Curling on my side, I hugged the pillow as tears poured out, plopping on the material. I wanted to feel the wind in my hair and my arms wrapped around his body again but it could never happen again. My eyes burned as I gave in and drifted off to the sound roaring engines.
I woke to a couple messages from City wishing me good morning and asking when I could see him again. Leaving my phone on my nightstand I made a glass of tea and sat on my front step sipping the warm cinnamon liquid. The neighborhood was quite as a few couples walk
ed down the sidewalks and children played in the front yard down the street. I stared at the sun shimmering off the wet grass and thought about him. I couldn’t sit here all day and think about him. I had to find something to do today to keep my mind off him and move toward my future.
I needed a shower, had to wash his scent off of me and start my day. No more wallowing in self-pity and the whirlwind that I lived for the last week. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand but there were no new messages from City. Maybe he got the hint after I didn’t send him a good morning text.
The ringing of my phone made me jump as I waited for the water to warm. Walking to the phone slowly and peeking at the screen relief floods me as I see that it’s Derek and not City.
“Hey,” I said, as I stood there naked staring in the mirror as the fog blurred my reflection.
“Hi, Suzy. What are you doing later?” Derek had a deep voice but it didn’t give half the effect on me that City’s voice did.
“Not much, just about to jump in the shower. What’s up?”
His sharp intake of air made it evident that he had just pictured me naked. “I wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner tonight and maybe play some mini-golf. Do you want to go with me?”
“Oh, well...” I gnawed on my thumbnail and debated a date with Derek. He worked on paper and we ran in the same circles. Our worlds were similar and we could relate to each other. Maybe he was the path that I needed to follow or at least he’d help keep my mind off City.
“Come on, Suzy. We’ll have fun. What do you say?” His voice was hopeful. Couldn’t blame a guy for being persistent – he’d never taken no for an answer.
“Okay, Derek.” I ran my hands down the bare skin between my breasts, loving the feel of the softness. I instantly felt like crap for saying yes when all I wanted to do was run to City.
“It’s a date. I’ll pick you up at six.”
“See you at six.”
“Great. I can’t wait to see you tonight. Bye for now, Suzy.”
“Bye, Derek.” I heard him celebrating his victory before the line went dead.
I stood in the shower and daydreamed about City before touching myself, relieving the ache between my legs. The orgasm wasn’t as satisfying as I had hoped. It dulled the need I felt for City. I craved the earth shattering orgasm I felt under his deft fingertips but I couldn’t let my sexual desire cloud my judgment.
City sent me two more text messages before Derek picked me up for dinner. I ignored the urge to reply and finished my makeup, smacking my red lipstick together before running the brush through my hair one last time. The tight, black miniskirt and yellow tank top helped show off my fading tan. Soon the winter cold and weakened sun would cause my skin to return to its almost ghostly shade of white. Grabbing my strappy black stilettos out of the closet I thought of that last time I wore them – the night City rode into my life. I put my favorite Reef sandals in my purse for later when my feet ached and we played mini-golf.
The chime of the doorbell snapped me out of my memories of the first night in City’s bed. Opening the door, I took in the sight of Derek in a pair of khaki dress pants and crisp white linen shirt with his toes peeking out from the fabric around his feet. His smile beamed as he eyes roamed my body taking in my outfit before stopping on my breasts. He licked his lips before his settled on my face with a goofy smile.
“Wow, you look sexy, Suzy.” His nostrils flared as his gaze drifted down my body again.
The way he looked at me made my skin crawl. “Thanks, you look great too.” He did look nice, but not heart stopping or panty dropping.
He held out his hand to me. “Ready?” he asked.
I placed my fingers against his smooth palm “Yeah,” I said, although I was anything but.
Derek opened the door to his beat-up Nissan Altima, waiting for me to climb in before he kissed my hand and slamming the door.
I sighed as I watched him walk around the car, a brilliant and victorious smile on his face. “God, this is a horrible idea,” I mumbled to myself as he opened the door and climbed in.
“What did you say?” he asked as he climbed in, closing the door, and looked at me.
“Just saying how hungry I am. Where are we eating?”
