“No, you didn’t know. Don’t be sorry. I think it’s why I knew that Cass wasn’t herself. I recognized that look, that sadness. I’d seen it in my mother, but as you guys know, I’d seen it in fellow brothers as well.”
“I’m sorry I put you through that, Cade.”
“Baby, that’s not what I meant at all. I just wasn’t going to stand by and watch you just wither away.”
“You know, Ashley and I see it a lot in our practice. People who go through traumatic events often don’t have the support system they need to survive. I’m not just talking sexual violence, but even things like car accidents or losing a loved one. We have our support groups. Private sessions. Chat rooms. We’ve put almost everything we know of in place, but it still happens. We still lose someone every now and then.”
“It really is a silent killer,” said Trevor. “I never thought I’d be the guy thinking about killing myself. Then Ian and Ashley put me in that damn support group with kids.”
“With kids?” laughed Cass.
“Yea, they were all victims of sexual or physical abuse. Toughest bunch of fucking kids I’d ever seen. They damn sure set me straight. I was abused, physically and sexually, when I was a kid, Cass. I became a SEAL and did all the wrong things. I mean everything. The only thing I did right was I made sure Ashley knew that I was totally committed to her and only her.”
“How did you do that?” she asked, smiling at him.
“He bought me boobs,” grinned Ashley.
“What?!”
“I was attacked by my ex-boyfriend, Cass. He mutilated my breasts, but my insurance company wouldn’t pay for implants. They said it was purely cosmetic. They didn’t see what I looked like before. I came into work one day, and my boss said a generous program had offered to pay for my surgery. It was Trevor.”
“Trev, that’s so sweet,” said Cass.
“I just wanted her to feel normal again, even if she didn’t want me in her life. Although, I was damn sure going to do everything in my power to make sure I was in her life. I was a man-whore of the highest order. What happened to me was my own damn fault. What happened to her was not her fault. I wanted to do one good thing in my life. One. I ended up doing two. Giving her that surgery and then marrying her.”
“That’s really beautiful,” said Bree. “We’ve got so many amazing survival stories at RP. We should think about writing a book about it or something. Anonymously, of course.”
“That would be hard to do,” said Ashley. “I mean, so many of the stories are unique and specific. But maybe we write about the ways that we survived the trauma. Not just us, the women, but also the men. Trevor, Parker, Clay, even Keith surviving what he did.”
“I’m so lucky to be a part of this family,” said Cass, shaking her head. “I’m ashamed of myself for ever thinking about leaving it.”
“Don’t be ashamed, Cass. You were in a dark place, and we’re here to make sure it never gets dark again.”
They chatted casually as the evening went on. The meal was delicious. Waiting for their chocolate lava cake, three state troopers entered and were seated at the table behind them. The team didn’t want to listen to them, but they were louder than they should have been, and it definitely struck a chord.
“What the fuck do you mean you don’t think it was suicide, Leo? That kid jumped off that bridge. I saw it.”
“I was there, Kevin. I know. But I’m telling you that the coroner said the shit in his system should not have been prescribed to him. And what the fuck was it with that VA doctor? He came storming in there and took the body before we could even finish. Something is going on.”
Doc turned, looking at the table of men in their uniforms. They all turned, realizing that they had been louder than intended.
“Sorry, folks. Sometimes work is hard to let go of,” said Leo.
“No problem,” said Doc. “My apologies, but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. My name is Jack Harris, but they call me Doc. I’m a retired Army Ranger. This is Cade Norgenson, retired Army, and Trevor Banks, retired SEAL. These two beautiful women are our wives, and both are psychologists. This is Bree and Ashley, and that’s Cassidy. She’s Cade’s girl and an artist.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” said Leo. “Thank you for your service. I was a Marine. I’m sorry we disturbed you.”
“No, not at all,” said Doc. “Ashley and Bree are psychologists, as I said, and Cade, Trevor, and I are part of a security team. REAPER-Patriots.”
“No, shit,” smirked Leo. “I’ve heard of them. A buddy of mine had a friend that went to them. Clay Duffy.” They all smiled, nodding their heads.
“Clay is one of our best men and one of the fastest,” said Trevor. “Our apologies, but we overheard you talking about a veteran who killed himself.”
“Oh, yea,” said Kevin. “Leo and I got called out because a guy was on the ledge of a bridge. Some doctor from the VA was trying to talk him down, but Leo got pissed and walked out to talk to him.”
“What happened?” asked Bree.
“He kept saying he was in pain, that nothing was helping him. I thought I had him, but when he reached for me, it was like something was stabbing him in the head. He reached for the sides of his head and lost his footing. I tried to get to him.”