Page 28 of Venus Was Her Name

‘Add into the mix young kids all over the world, listening to songs like that who think their heroes, men they worship, are singing just to them… sending a message on the airwaves that they can interpret however they please.’

It was as though he’d looked into her soul, right there on the balcony because she’d done exactly the same, searched for hidden meanings in the lyrics of his songs, wanting them to be a secret message just for her. Shaking off the intrusion, she clung instead to something he’d said earlier. ‘Like the kids who hung around backstage, who you were kind to.’

Joe sighed. He looked incredibly sad. ‘There was this one girl, said her name was Pammie. I remember it purely because of Baywatch, even though this kid had jet-black hair from a bottle. Anyway, she came to all our gigs, used to push right to the front and stand directly under the mike. She must have snuck in because it turned out she was homeless and no way could she have paid for a ticket, not with money, anyway. Christ, that makes me feel so bad, to think of that.’ He drained his mug then rested it on the wooden rail.

‘We found her one morning asleep under her coat at the back of the studio when we went out for a smoke. Long story short, we took her inside, fed her. I promised to help. One of the team made some calls, got her into a programme because she was an addict, and I got Gus to set her up with some money so when she was clean she could make a new start, get somewhere to live and a job.’

‘Do you know what happened to her?’

Joe just stared at the sea. ‘It was just before I met Jenny. We went on tour, Australia, and New Zealand and then afterwards we came here so I don’t know. I like to think she straightened herself out and lived a happy life. But what gets me down is that I couldn’t help all the other Pammies out there, because I know there were more. Kids, girls and boys, we need to remember they get sucked in too, then get lost along the way.

‘So, when you ask if it was the norm, I guess it was. Like a wave, starting with the lyrics of a song, not one of mine, thank fuck, spreading that vibe far and wide, onto the streets and bars of LA and beyond, telling men they could do what the hell they wanted; and young kids that it was how it was, and if they spoke out, nobody would listen to them anyway.’

Joe shook his head. ‘That’s another thing that sucks, what do they call it these days…? Oh yeah, victim shaming. If it came out, some would ask what these kids were doing there in the first place, breaking the law, taking drugs, drinking alcohol. I’d say they were lost souls from bad homes and bad parents, some from good homes who had rebelled, thought it would be fun, so many reasons. And it’s always easier to blame the victim than treat the cause. Yeah, it all goes a hell of a lot deeper, and the industry wasn’t solely to blame but it played its part. That’s how I see it anyway.’

Edie’s mind was working overtime now, taking notes, attaching them to snippets from earlier. ‘Is that what you meant downstairs, when you mentioned Darlene and how she got her first break?’

Joe turned and looked back across the bay. ‘I was out of order, I suppose, saying that, but I was angry. It’s Darlene’s story to tell and I’m sure you can join the dots but let’s face it, that crap has been going on for years. The film world is rotten to the core too.’

‘I take it Darlene knows, about what’s going on. I’m sure she won’t be happy if she’s dragged into it all.’

‘Yep, you got it in one. She was mad as hell too but for entirely different reasons to Jenny. She was around at the time of Harlem and the others and if the press can haul Darlene in too, to sell more papers, they will.’

‘I think it’s awful, how they never let things lie and keep dragging up the past. You know earlier, you said you had regrets… do you regret your marriages? When you showed me your private photos you looked happy on both occasions.’ Edie was riddled with curiosity about Joe’s relationship with his ex-wives and even though it pained her, hearing about his life with them, the desire to know everything got the better of her.

Joe fiddled with the leather braids on his wrists, twisting the beads and it reminded her of how Ace spun his rings when he was nervous. ‘Ah, the well-worn photos of the rock star and the starlet. Our wedding day looked good on the front covers, we looked good together. I threw myself into writing, got sober, kicked the drugs – well, most of them – and played being a dad and husband. I liked it. But like most celebrity marriages we were doomed from the start. Yeah, we had fun, but once the band hit the road and Darlene’s career took off, we drifted. What I regret is what happened after the divorce. Lance was collateral damage, Darlene claimed him as a trophy, and I took the Mustang and E-Type. At the time I was more relieved to keep my precious cars than take responsibility for my own son. I didn’t even put up a fight.’

‘Do you think Lance knows this and that’s why he’s…’ Edie chose her words, ‘resentful?’

Joe gave her a sideways glance and smiled, like he knew she knew his son was a bit of a shit. ‘Yeah, he’s resentful all right, amongst other things. I occupied myself with dating beautiful women who I hoped didn’t want to tie me down, broke a few hearts along the way too. I went back to being a dick, I suppose. In the meantime, Lance got used to being without me and hanging out with kids of other famous parents he went to school with. He hated being away from the in-crowd and then when I bought the farm, detested being sent to the back of beyond for two months each summer to bond with a dad he barely knew, never mind putting up with his new hippy stepmother and her little kid.’

Edie thought at least Joe was honest and had seen the error of his ways, even if it was a bit too late. But it was Jenny she was most interested in and wanted to hear about her from Joe, and see if she differed from Ace’s version. ‘You seem very fond of Jenny though. I could hear it in your voice when you spoke about her earlier. It’s nice you’ve stayed friends especially for Ace.’

‘Yeah, there will always be a part of me that loves Jenny but over the years it’s kind of turned into a brother-sister relationship, like I feel I have to take care of her because she always messes up. She’ll never change. When we met she was totally crazy, totally unsuited to motherhood and totally hooked on drugs, drink, and men. But despite her failings she was a good mum, did her best for Ace because she’s a beautiful woman with a good soul who doesn’t mean anyone any harm.’

Swallowing down the swell of envy, Edie probed further. ‘So how did you meet?’

‘It was 2002. I’d been living in London for a while, then we headed to Asia, kicked off the tour in Japan, which was epic, but it was a big-ass trip and after a break we went back to the studio to record a new album. We were in LA. One of the band’s backing singers got sick and sent her flatmate to the rehearsal rooms to tell us. Jenny burst into the room, like Kate Bush on speed and I can see her now, standing there with a baby on her hip, persuading me that she could take her friend’s place. Apparently she’d been singing all her life, ran away at sixteen and joined a travelling band of session singers, living life on the road and in cheap hotels. Those were her credentials, no references, just her truth right there in front of the crew and the band and it touched my heart.’

Edie knew it was ridiculous, to despise someone so much, but she did, yet at the same time wanted more, totally absorbed and fascinated by Jenny and Joe’s story. ‘So, you’re a big softy at heart… Ace said you were.’

‘Oh, he did, did he! And here’s me trying to act like the hardman of rock and he’s going around telling everyone I’m mard. The little shit.’ They both laughed, then Joe returned to the land of Jenny. Edie gripped the handrail while he spoke.

‘We clicked from the moment we met I suppose, and then there was this little kid attached to her hip, who’d sleep in her arms while we rehearsed. Good as gold he was. Jenny took him everywhere, hated leaving him with anyone and didn’t see why a mum couldn’t bring her kid to work. In the end, I paid for a proper nanny to look after him and she was okay with that because he had good care, the rest of the time I carried him around on my shoulders. There was something about Ace, this loving little lad who wrapped his arms round my neck, and my heart, and never let go.’ Joe smiled. ‘They were happy days.’

‘You should put that in a song, that line. It’s beautiful.’ Edie meant it, because where Ace was concerned she hadn’t an ounce of envy. She was glad for him.

Joe fiddled with the mug on the handrail. ‘You know, maybe I will one day.’

‘So, you made an honest woman out of Jenny?’ Edie hoped that he couldn’t hear the bitterness in her voice, but she had to know why he did the things he did, to make sense of the jumble of truths and half-stories in her own head.

‘Ha, never going to happen, but I tried. The three of us spent a week in Vegas and after one too many of something or other, I asked Jenny to marry me. She said “Yeah, why not”.Ace swears he remembers going to the chapel and watching Elvis marry me and his mum. We could choose what outfit the preacher wore, I wanted him to be Spock, he even had fake pointy ears, but Jenny wanted The King. It still makes me laugh when I look at the photo of us. Ace squished between me in a fucking purple velvet suit and sunglasses, and Jenny head to toe in fuchsia silk. We look a right pair of twats.’

‘I think you look the epitome of a rock-and-roll couple who were loving life, and maybe Ace does remember… I mean, who could forget those outfits? So how come you ended up back here? In the back of beyond.’

‘After the wedding and the media furore, I thought we could make a home at La Babinais, give the little guy some stability. And honestly, I didn’t want Ace to be sucked into the Beverly Hills lifestyle like Lance. And I was ready to tone it down a bit, live a more sober life away from the spotlight. It lasted three years. Jenny couldn’t be tamed and I knew that if I didn’t let her go, she would end up hating me and I didn’t want that. Ace on the other hand wanted to stay.’

‘Well, I think it’s a lovely story. Ace was lucky to get you for a dad.’

---