Page 58 of Forbidden

I’m awake and don’t understand why I am in bed, with a nurse next to me, or with all those machines connected to monitor my vitals. I knew Aarav was here. I had felt him beside me, holding my hand, kissing my fingers, saying ‘sorry’ and most importantly, I still felt the wetness of his tears at the back of my palm. Did he cry? Was Aarav here or was I hallucinating? Wait! What went wrong with me? The last I recall is me going to bed taking sleeping pills.

“Mrs. Raichand, how are you feeling now?” the nurse next to me asks.

Though that name tag suffocates me, I still nod.

“My throat is parched. I want some water.”

She quickly helps me get up and once I am comfortably sitting, she helps me drink some water. Feels good.

“I have texted the doctor already. She will be here in a few minutes to check you again.”

“What happened to me?” I ask but before the nurse could respond, Jaya barges into the room. Probably the nurse had texted Jaya too.

“Oh God!! Thank you so much.” She runs to my bed and gives me a hug. She kisses my forehead and then cups my cheek. “You scared me, baby. How are you feeling now?”

I smile.

“Better. What happened?”

Now she goes all serious and I know when that look comes on her face. When she’s shitty mad at me.

“How could you, Jhanvi? How could you think of ending your life like that? I mean seriously? I know you were going through a lot, but I was here for you. We could have come up with some solution but ending life, Jhanvi? I wish to kill you right now for even implementing this idea. Do you know what I have been through in the past few hours? I literally thought you were dying.”

“Dying?” I interrupt. “I…I didn’t. I mean.. I ..”

I pause to recall what exactly happened that night. Aarav sent me back to Mumbai and there wasn’t a single minute where I hadn’t stopped thinking about Mohit’s deceit and how I lost Aarav’s trust. I wasn’t in my right mindset and hence unable to sleep. So just like every other night I did these days, I swallowed sleeping pills, but it looks like I lost count of how many I took and the high dosage made me unconscious, scaring everyone.

“I didn’t commit suicide,” I confess.

Jaya doesn’t believe me.

“Don’t save Aarav.”

“I am saving no one here, Jaya. I mean it. Do you think I will ever want to end my life? Only because of the rivalry between these two brothers? Never!! I am not that weak.”

Jaya stares at me blankly.

“Then what was all this?”

“A weak moment which led me to mistakenly take more pills than necessary and the rest you know. But I swear I didn’t commit suicide. I will never support it no matter how worse my life turns out to be.”

Jaya takes a sigh of relief and then gives me a tight hug.

“I am glad you didn’t attempt it.” She pulls away and stares at my face again. “I googled the best psychologist in London so that I could book your therapy. I had gone that insane.”

I ignore everything in that sentence she said, except one.

“In London?” I ask curiously.

“Yes,” she nods, entwining our fingers. “I’m taking you back to London. I don’t think you staying here amidst all this war of the Raichands is good for your mental state. Don’t even think of arguing about this. We are leaving this country the day you feel good to travel. That’s it.”

I weakly nod at her persistence. London has been my home for the past few years, so yeah, going back home feels better than staying here and scarring my soul. I have no one here left to trust or who would trust and love me in return. Only Daadi!! But it looks like she will have to understand and support my decision. I am sure she will. Especially after she knows what Mohit did with me.

I tell Jaya about Mohit and how I saw him with Sofia in Mussourie. She hangs on to her anger until I am done and then scolds me for even trusting that man so far.

“I told you I never got good vibes when Mohit proposed to you for marriage. He is still going around with his Ex and probably he was pressured by Daadi to marry you. I thought Aarav is the real villain of your life, but now it looks like it is Mohit. But wait a minute. Why did Aarav send you back home? Anything bad happened between you two in Mussourie?”

Aarav!! Instead of the bad memories, I recall the ones which still give me goosebumps. The way he had soothed my rashes using the ice cubes, the softness in his tone as he asked me if I really came back to him with no motive apart from accepting our marriage. And today the way he said sorry to me a while ago when I was semi-conscious. So that’s why he said sorry? Because just like Jaya, even he thought I tried to commit suicide?

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