“What were you thinking, Jaan?”
Always curious to read my mind, isn’t he?
“About us.”
My reply makes him grin. He leans closer.
“What about us?”
I feel myself blushing as I raise my fingers and stroke his jaw. I love this rough stubble he carries, smart and suave. It is just prickly enough to tingle every skin of mine it touches.
“About how far we came. From our forced marriage to working partners and now.. this..”
I slide my palm over his chest, reaching for his heart.
“I can’t believe this belongs to me. ThatYoubelong to me, Aarav.”
He suddenly stiffens, but I continue.
“Otherwise, meeting someone like you whom I’ve always kept a distance from, getting married to you and starting a life now with that same man who forcibly married me, I cannot even think in my dream.”
He narrows his eyes. Did I say anything to hurt him? I hope not. Aarav suddenly goes into thinking mode for a few seconds before leaning down and carrying me in his arms. I am ready to call it a night. To go to bed with him and let him lead this moment, so I wrap my arms around his neck as he drags his feet to the bedroom, without breaking our eye contact. I can feel something has changed. He’s physically present with me, but mentally he is elsewhere. I don’t want Aarav to think anything apart from me tonight so I take this sweet initiative to kiss his lips. He doesn’t stop walking, but neither ignores kissing me back. But there is awkwardness. I can sense it. He puts me on the bed, I don’t realize when and how and kisses me for a bit longer. Something is missing in this kiss and it’s not from my side. Whatever is holding him back, I try to change that for us and take this lead to reach for his shirt buttons. God knows how much I have wanted to touch him without this fabric in between. He grips my wrist and kisses me harder this time. What the hell does that mean? Does he want me to go ahead or not? The way he has held my wrists is an attempt to stop me from unbuttoning him, which irks me for sure, but I respond to his kiss as if giving my soul through it. A minute later, he pulls away from my lips and body both, to get down the bed.
“I just remembered. Have some work to do. You go to sleep.”
What? I glare at him when he buttons himself again. Is he serious? Does he really have work to do that is more important than me? I swear the spark to claim me is still lingering in the way he’s looking at my body, then what’s holding him back? Everything went fine when we hosted dinner for Jaya and Aman. Why did he change his mind now?
“I’ll wait for you,” I mumble. Yes, I will wait for him to finish whatever he has to before returning to me and giving us both what we truly deserve tonight.
“Go to sleep. I’ll be late,” he says with a mock smugness.
Leaning down again, Aarav kisses my temple. “Good night.”
I don’t know what kind of game he is still playing with me, but it hurts. A lot. The touch of his lips still lingers on my forehead for long, even if he’s no longer in the bedroom. What are you up to, Aarav Raichand?
*****************
When I woke up the next morning, Aarav was not home. In fact, I realize from his side of the bed that he didn’t even return to the bedroom again last night and took the couch instead. Why? What suddenly changed between us? I am so upset reading his message on my phone where he just wrote he had some work to take care of and hence left early and not to worry. Seriously? He is suddenly acting weird and wants me not to worry? I wonder if he has changed his mind. Is he unable to give up his revenge and choose me instead? Is that why he is having second thoughts and rejecting me? Or is he going to have me and yet revenge Daadi? God!! I don’t want to think Aarav can deceive me. What the hell should I think then?
I don’t reply to his message for long and when I do it is only to let him know I am heading to work and if he returns soon, then he can let me know so I can head back home early for him.. for us. Shit! I sound so desperate to spend time with him, whereas it feels like he doesn’t even care. Is Aarav punishing me for all the rejections I threw on him so far? If yes, he’s going to have a tough time wooing me again.
Maybe I am thinking too much. It could be that he is really busy with work and wants to finish it soon. Yeah, there is this possibility too, which I can’t ignore. So, I decide to speak to him openly about it tonight.
Evening, Jaya comes back to my office and from my sour mood she picks it up that I am upset. Soon I give her a few highlights of my problem and she becomes as serious as I am at the moment.
“This is weird. We all know how much Aarav likes you. He can’t put up a distance willingly with you.”
Her words scare me more.
“You know there’s only one who can help you. God,” she adds.
God? Well, yeah.
“You know when people marry, they even visit a temple, take blessings and then start their married life. Have you heard about it?” she asks.
“Of course, I have heard. But what do you suggest?”
“You and Aarav need to do the same. Wait. I will ask Aman to bring Aarav to the temple and you and I will go there too. Let’s get you some blessings, Jhanvi.”