Page 64 of Keeping My Girl

CHAPTER35

Selina

WE’RE WATCHING A movie in Nico’s room. This has become an almost nightly routine with us, and I love it, but I want…more. The sexual tension has been building up between us, and I feel like I might finally snap tonight. It’s been almost a week since he last touched me, licking me into oblivion, and I can still feel his tongue on me. The experience was otherworldly, like I was levitating, and I want to experience it again and again with him.

I’ve been waiting for Nico to make a move, but he’s been stoic, not giving me any signs of wanting anything else beyond what we have right now. So, I decide that tonight is the night. I don’t want to wait any longer. I’ve never initiated sex with a man before, however. I was always forced to do things I didn’t want to do. And having never been in a real consensual relationship, I have no idea what to do. I’ve tried flirting but failed miserably; probably because I’m afraid my words will come out all weird and rough like a caveman — me like you. Me want sex with you.

I internally facepalm myself. Why is this so hard?

Because it’s Nico.

Yes, that is precisely the reason why this is so difficult. Nico would never push me to do anything with him, knowing what I’ve been through. But that little voice in the back of my mind keeps wondering if he doesn’t want me. My self-doubt creeps in easily, and I can’t seem to get rid of her.

Nico would never want you. Nico is the perfect package, and you’re nothing.

Shaking my head, I try to clear those evil thoughts from my head.

There’s a sex scene in the movie, and Nico looks back at me nervously, like he’s afraid of me seeing it…or maybe he’s just afraid of it getting awkward between us. God, if I had one superpower, it would be the ability to read minds. I want to know what he’s thinking, what he thinks of me.

Gathering all the courage I can muster, I get on my knees and crawl towards him at the foot of the bed.

“Not comfy?” he asks innocently as he glances towards me.

I shake my head.

He’s lying on his stomach, his chin resting on his folded arms, his biceps bulging and testing the thread strength of his short-sleeved shirt.

Lying down beside him, I study his profile. His face is perfection — hard, strong lines like it was carved by stone but with soft features balancing it all out, like his long, dark eyelashes and striking, gray eyes that remind me of the sky on a cloudy day.

When Nico catches me staring, he asks, “You don’t like the movie?”

“I don’t want to watch the movie,” I tell him, hinting at the fact that I want more. So much more.

He turns to his side, so that we’re facing each other. “Well, then what do you want to do?”

“This,” I whisper before I move closer and kiss him.

His lips are so soft and warm. They part on a groan, and I take the opportunity to taste him. My tongue tangles with his, and an intense feeling rushes through me straight to my core. Gently pushing him to his back, I straddle his hips and gasp when I feel his hard cock pushing up against where I need him the most. At least I know that I do turn him on. I was worried about that most of all.

But when I grind down on him, Nico suddenly pulls away. “Whoa,” he gasps. “Lina, I don’t think we… I don’t know if…”

I stare at him as tears fill my eyes. That little bitch in the back of my mind was right. He doesn’t want me. He’ll never want me.

Climbing off the bed, I race out of his bedroom and straight to my room. I close the door behind me, quickly locking it before sinking to the floor.

I hear Nico’s fist pounding on the wood a few seconds later. “Lina, let me in,” he calls from the other side.

“No!” I yell back.

He tries the doorknob but has no success. “Damn it, Lina! We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk. Just leave me alone!” I don’t care if I’m being dramatic. I was just turned down by the only man who ever gave a damn about me, so I’m allowed to sulk and cry and whatever the hell else I want to do.

The door vibrates against my back as Nico’s fists meet the wood. “I will break down this fucking door!” Nico yells, and I can hear the anger mixed with worry in his voice.

He sounds like a mad man out there. And why does him acting like that turn me on even more? Oh god, what is wrong with me?

Standing, I flick off the lock and open the door. Nico pushes inside and stares at me with those gray eyes that I’ve dreamt about almost every night for the past decade.

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