Page 84 of Keeping My Girl

CHAPTER45

Selina

IWAKE UP with a start. The last thing I remember was the nurses trying to calm me down before they stuck a needle in my arm, sedating me. Everything is fuzzy after that.

I’m in my bed, so Nico must have tucked me in. But where is he now?

Movement from my right catches my attention, and I see a dark figure sitting in the chair I usually read in by the window.

“Nico?” I whisper.

“Yeah,” he says. He sits forward, his elbows on his knees, the moonlight streaming through the window highlighting his handsome features. In one hand is a rocks glass with a dark amber liquid, the ice clinking against the side of the glass with his movement.

“Any news about Aria?” I ask even though I’m afraid of the answer.

“Not yet,” he says, his voice heavy with emotion.

“It’s my fault,” I tell him. “If I wouldn’t have left the house…”

“It’s not your fault. We had no idea about the tracker.”

The tracker.I told Nico about it after I was rescued. My hand instinctively moves to the back of my skull. There’s a bandage over the place where the tracker once was. They must have removed it while I was sedated. “I didn’t know about it,” I mutter quickly. “If I had known —.”

“No one is blaming you for anything, Lina,” he assures me.

I take some solace in that fact, but guilt and shame are still scratching away furiously at my insides. Everything is my fault even if no one sees it as such. Aria is gone because of me. She’s out there, all alone, scared, not knowing if she’ll ever come back home again.

And I know exactly how she feels.

I lived through all the up and down emotions that trick your mind into thinking you’re on some kind of crazy, evil roller coaster. And just when you think things can’t get any worse, they do.

Shuddering, I throw the blankets off and go to stand. My legs are unsteady, and I almost fall. I catch myself on the bed. “Damn, that sedative is strong,” I curse.

“You were inconsolable,” he reminds me. “And plus, they wanted to get that tracker out of you.” He sets down his glass and comes over to me. “Please get back in bed.”

He moves to grab my arm, but I shrug it off. “I can’t just sit here while Aria is out there. God only knows what he’s doing to her! I need to help. I need to do something!”

I don’t realize I’m near hysterics until Nico suddenly grabs me and pulls me close, crushing me to his chest. The first of many sobs let go, and my fingers wrap around his shirt as I slowly release some of my repressed guilt.

“It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault,” I chant against his chest as my tears soak the material of his shirt.

“No, it’s not,” Nico whispers into my ear as his hand gently caresses my back up and down. “There’s only one person to blame.”

He’s right. Deep down I know he’s right. And even if I have to live with this survivor’s guilt, or whatever the hell you want to call it, Constantine is the one who needs to be punished. He is the one behind all of this. If it wasn’t for him, none of this would have happened.

“There has to be something I can do,” I plead with him.

“I could take you down to the control room. Aldo might have some questions to ask you about locations of places you’ve been with Constantine. Maybe he can figure out where he might have taken my sister.”

I nod. “I can do that. Yes, anything he needs. Anything to help.”

“As soon as you’re feeling better,” he adds on the little caveat.

“No,” I tell him with a firm shake of my head. “Now. It has to be now.” I won’t wait another minute or even another second without trying to help them find Aria. It’s the least I can do. “I have lots of information I could help Aldo with. The sooner, the better,” I plead with Nico.

He stares at me with those gray eyes that I love so much and then gives me a nod. “All right. Let’s go then,” he tells me before hooking his arms under my legs and lifting me. “But I’m carrying you the whole way down there. And if you show any signs of stress or weakness down there…”

“I won’t,” I assure him. I’m completely focused on finding Aria right now. I can recuperate and dwell on everything later. She is my main focus, my main priority. And I won’t be able to fully relax until she’s found.

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