Page 31 of Chasin' Cole

Though she doesn't deserve an answer, I give Kenzie one anyway. Curious eyes are on us in this small coffee shop, and I know they’re all listenin’. It’s a chance for me to set the record straight. "We are datin', yes."

"Don't you think he's a little too old for you, Rose?" Kenzie talks down to me. "You should be dating boys your age and having experiences with people your age. Cole’s a grown man who’s had his fair share of women. I’m just tryin’ to protect you."

The words spewing out of her mouth make the hair on the back of my arms and neck stand straight up.How dare she! Protect me?She didn’t care about protectin’ me when she moved in with Rowdy and ignored me.

"I guess I learned from the best," I shoot back at her without thinkin'. "Why weren't you havin' experiences with boys instead of gettin' pregnant by a married man?"

Her face reddens and her fists ball at her sides. I look over at Emmeline and instantly regret what I've just said.She's innocent in all of this, and I just played into Kenzie's manipulative hand.

Rowdy appears before I can apologize for speakin' out of turn, his face hard to read. I know he overhead me. Everyone overheard what I just said.

His hand rests on Kenzie's shoulder as Emmeline leaves my side and runs over to the man I once thought was my dad.

"Daddy!" Emmeline squeals.

The tiny fissures in my heart, the ones he put there when he left, crack from the sound. My eyes glaze over as I stare up at Rowdy. He doesn't say anythin' to me, doesn't even acknowledge me.

"We should go," he says to Kenzie.

Daddy.

Dad.

Come back.

I watch him walk away with his family—the people he chose.

People who aren't me.

"Rose, your order's up," I hear.

But in the middle of the coffee shop on Main Street, I crumble, crack, and fall apart.

Because even though he’s not my dad, he used to be. And the fact that we can’t be civil in the local coffee shop hurts worse than him leavin’ without sayin’ goodbye.

—

"Hey," Cole says as he opens the door to his second-story studio apartment above the haberdashery on Cooke Street. His smile fades when he sees my tear-streaked face.

"What happened, baby?” he says as he reaches for me.

"K-Kenzie," I squeak out as I shrug in the hallway. "And R-Rowdy."

Cole takes the coffee from my hands and ushers me inside his minimalist-styled residence. A desk, an armchair, a lamp and a king-sized bed. That's all he owns. I never thought I’d be grateful for his lack of decoratin’ but I’m glad there are no pictures on the walls.

Without askin', I walk over to his unmade bed and slip out of my boots. I slide into the still warm flannel sheets and bury my face in his pillow. It smells like Cole. Like birch and musky cologne. When did it become my favorite scent? When did he become the person I need when I'm sad?

I can't need him.

He's leavin'.

My heart hurts and my body feels heavy. I made a scene at the coffee shop after they left. I fell apart because I couldn't handle seein' Kenzie and Rowdy together. Couldn't handle knowin' I mean nothin' to him. Couldn’t handle Emmeline walkin’ away with the two people who broke my heart.

I don't even realize I'm cryin' until Cole slips into bed behind me and wraps his arms around me. "I'm here, Rose. I'm here."

But for how long, Cole?

Will you disappear, too?

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