Page 32 of Chasin' Cole

Just like Rowdy?

The achy, burnin' sensation in my chest throbs the moment Cole kisses the back of my neck.

Don't think about him leavin'. Don't do it to yourself, Rose. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy him while he’s here.

I'm not sure how long we lay there, but I cry into his pillow while he holds me in his steady, strong arms. We lay there while the buttery mornin' rays turns to bright afternoon light. And I realize I could get used to this. The needin' him.The wantin' to be comforted by him.

But I should be protectin' my heart right now. Lockin' it up and not lettin' anyone close to it. Mom, Rowdy, Howard and Kenzie. They all broke my heart.They shattered itand no one's ever apologized for it. No one’s asked me if I’m OK. If I need anythin’. They broke it and moved on with their lives without so much as a glance in my direction.

"I think I should go," I finally say.

"You should stay," Cole counters as I sit up and wipe my face with the heels of my palms.

I can't look him in the face, or I'll fall apart again. "I think I just need to be alone right now."

"Rose, I want to be here for you."

"For how long?" The words come out harsher than I intend. "How long before you leave, too? Before you're gone? And I'm still here? All alone gettin’ my coffee and confrontin’ Kenzie in front of everyone?"

His lips form a tight line as he runs a hand through his inky black locks. "What do you want me to say? I tried, Rose. I tried getting out of my contract."

"You didn't try hard enough!" I snap. "No one ever tries hard enough. Everyone always thinks I'm going to be fine. Well, I'm not fine, Cole. I haven't been fine for a long time."

I climb over his long legs and scurry towards the door. But his hand catches my elbow, and he spins me around the moment my fingers graze the handle.

"No," he shakes his head slowly, "you don't get to say all that and leave."

"I can do whatever I want." My voice wavers as more tears form in the corners of my eyes.

"We're in a relationship," he reminds me. "You don't get to leave because you're mad. You have to stay here, and you have to talk to me. I'm leaving soon and I need you to stay and talk to me. I can't...I can't change anything, but I also can't make things right if you don't tell me what's bothering you."

"I just want to go for a ride on Sundance," I swallow hard. "I want to be alone."

"I don't think that's what you want," Cole chews on his bottom lip. "I know you're angry. If anyone has a right to be angry, it’s you, Rose. Your life was flipped upside down and no one cared. But I'm here now, and I care."

"If I stay," my lip wobbles from the defeat pourin' out of me, "I'm not going to be alright when you leave."

"I'm not leaving you," he reassures me as his hands cup my cheeks. He presses a chaste kiss to my forehead. "I'm going away for work, but I'm not leaving you.I love you. I'm going to come back to you."

"I don't want you to go," I breathe out. "How am I...how am I...what am I goin' to do?"

His face flashes with a thousand emotions before settlin' on one: resignation.

“You're going to do what you always do, Rose,” he gives me a sad smile. “You're going to get up off the dusty ground, wipe off the dirt and grime, and you're going to get back on the horse."

"I don't want to be here without you," I give him a watery smile. "I...I finally found somewhere I belong."

My hand slides along his chest, settling on his heart.This. This is where I know I belong. It's not fair. It's not fair that I finally found it and he's leavin'.

"It doesn't matter where I go or how many miles separate us," he places a hand over the one I have on top of his chest, "you're always going to belong with me. This is where you're always going to belong."

I stand on my tippy toes and brush my lips against his. He responds immediately by snakin' his arms around my waist and applyin' more pressure to my mouth. With every caress, every touch, our kisses become needier, headier,hungrier.

"Cole," I whisper as I pull away from him.

His lips are swollen and the irises of his dark eyes glow in the creamy afternoon light. "Are you...are you sure?"

I nod my head as I gently push him backwards, back toward his bed. "Yes."

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