Page 44 of Chasin' Cole

The sunlight blastin' in through the open window quickly disappears, snuffed out like a candle in the whippin’ wind. Clouds, dark and gloomy, charge across the sky as I turn and wipe the tears from my cheeks.

We need to talk.

I knew this was comin’ before he even finished gettin’ the words out. He was sittin’ there, his face a mess of emotions.

My life is about to fall apart in front of my eyes, and I can’t look at him while he rips the heart out of my chest and tosses it in the trash. What a waste. He’s just like everyone else. They take what they want from me, then discard me like an old milkin’ cow.

“I think we should really consider what the next year is going to look like,” he says as the rain splatters against the glass. It sloshes and slaps against the hard surface before sinking into the vast nothingness. Just like my heart plummetin’ to the ground below.

"What about it?" I hear myself respond.

The bed dips as I pull my knees up to my chest, and rock slowly back and forth. A few hours ago, I was fallin' asleep in his arms convinced this was forever. Convinced what we did meant somethin’. Somethin’ real and honest. I guess it was all a lie. Or maybe, it was the final straw. The one that woke Cole up to the truth. He can’t stay and he doesn’t really want to.

I don’t know what I did wrong. Did I hold on too tight? Is that why he’s slippin’ through my fingertips now?

His hand brushes along my shoulder. "We need to figure out what's best foryou."

I swallow the lump in my throat before peerin' up at him. His charcoal eyes are conflicted, like the open plains tryin' not to bend to the torrential downpour in early Spring.

"You're what's best for me," I whisper.

He draws his hand back and lays it in his lap. "Your mom stopped by. She discovered you weren't at Brock and Lacey's."

"Of course, she did," I let out a maniacal laugh. "Let me guess, she told you we're not right for each other. She filled your head with stupid lies."

"No," he answers. "But she brought up a few good points."

I hug my legs tighter to myself. "And those points are?"

Cole runs a hand through his inky black locks. "Rose, you're so young. You have your whole life in front of you. What kind person would I be if I kept you from living it?"

"What kind of person would you be?" I snort in disbelief. "You'd be the kind of person who I gave everythin' to and instead of throwin' it away, you'd protect it."

"I know what we did yesterday," he inhales sharply, "meant a lot to you—"

"Just me?" My nostrils flare with anger. "Not you? It meant nothin' to you?"

"I didn't say that," he says softly.

"What are you sayin', Cole?"

"I think we need some space for a few days so—"

"You want space?" I slide my legs beneath me and sit on my knees. "You made love to me and now you need space? You should have thought about that before you took somethin' that you shouldn't have. What I did with you, I…Iknewyou’d do this to me."

"I didnt—"

"You didn’t what?" I snap at him.

"I want to make sure you're going to be okay when I'm gone." He reaches for me, but I slap his hand away.

"Of course, I'm not goin' to be okay when you're gone!" My heart cracks and crumbles in my chest as I say the words out loud. "How am I supposed to be okay when I'll be worried about you the whole time?"

"That's the point," he rubs his chin nervously. "I don't want you to worry. I want you to be fine."

I gaze up at the popcorn ceiling, tryin’ to keep the tears from leakin' down my face.

"I don't know when I'll be back," he tries. "The contract stipulates a year, but it might be longer. I have to stay until the footage is captured."

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