“What the fuck are you doing, Pink?” Gio growls, slowly lifting the hem of my shirt for the small gun I tucked into the waistband of my jeans. I pray to God Pink doesn’t see his movements.
“I just came by to give you what you wanted.” He says vaguely.
“So you came here to end your worthless life? Because that’s all I want from a rat like you.”
I feel Gio’s fingers wrap around the handle of the gun, but before he can pull it free, Pink aims at the wall beside my head and pulls the trigger. I drop to the floor, pulling Lucinda with me under the table, covering as much of her body as I can with my own as bullets begin to fly. I pull Lucinda as far away from Pink as I can, tipping the table over to its side so it can provide some cover as I get Lucinda to the open doorway just beyond the kitchen.
“Do you have any weapons in the house?” I ask her as I shove her into a closet.
She shakes and trembles but she nods her head, “On the last step of the stairwell, there’s a loose wood panel on the wall. Pull it off and you’ll find Luce’s guns in there.” She points in the direction of the stairwell, which would leave me exposed for a second as I cross the doorway to the kitchen, but that can’t be helped.
I give her my phone before closing the door, “Call Luce now!”
I can still hear gunshots ricocheting around the kitchen as I duck my head and run across the threshold toward the stairway at the end of the hall. The house is an old model home, the tight building creating a smaller space for the people living in it, but right now, it’s my saving grace. I reach the stairs in record time, slapping a hand on the wooden panels until one pops open. I rip the panel off just as I hear a man’s grunt of pain, and I instantly go ice cold.
I move robotically, reminding myself that it could have been Pink’s grunt, not Gio’s, but after what we’ve already lived through, I can’t help the clawing fear from ripping through my body.
I slap the clip into the gun, pulling the slide to load a round into the chamber before going through the house once more. I don’t want to go the way I came, but this is my first time here, and the layout is completely unknown to me.
I stop at the threshold, keeping the gun near my face as I check to make sure the safety is off once more.
“Gio!” I shout, “Answer me!”
A bullet hits the frame of the doorway near my face, making me drop to the floor once again. Okay, so shouting my location was pretty fucking stupid, but at least I know Pink is still in the area I last saw him.
I blow my breath out once, closing my eyes and counting before spinning in place on my haunches and sliding out to the side so I can shoot. I see Pink behind the doorway of what looks to be a laundry room and aim my gun.
“Hey, motherfucker.” I say, making him poke his head out. I shoot but I miss, the bullet lodging into the wooden frame near his head. Still, I hear his cry of pain and decide to keep shooting as I stand, carefully stepping over plates of food and broken glass. I shoot through the wall until I hear a thud, hoping it’s Pink’s body.
Where the fuck is Gio?
I drop the clip of my gun, quickly sliding a fresh one back in and reloading the chamber as I slowly walk toward the laundry room.
But suddenly, there’s a hand wrapping around my mouth, my screams muffling as I’m dragged backward. All I can think of is Gio and Luce and how there’s no way in hell I’m getting kidnapped again. I twist in the man’s hold and aim my gun, but either by the grace of God just sheer fucking luck, I see Gio’s face and immediately pull my finger from the trigger.
“There’s another man here.” Gio whispers, pulling me behind him as he runs through the house toward another side door.
This house is a goddamn maze.
He lets go of my hand, quickly yanking open the door before aiming his gun at the back of a man in a black hoodie and jeans, but I quickly yank his hand, “There are children!”
I pull him back inside the house, knowing people have called the police by now, and they’ll be here any minute. We hear the screech of multiple tires in the front, followed by doors slamming.
“It’s Luce,” Gio says as he peeks through the blinds of the front windows. I leave him and rush back toward the closet where I left Lucinda, “Pink is in the laundry room, but I don’t know if he’s dead so be careful.”
I knock on the door, calling out to Luce’s mother before opening it. She’s still in the spot I left her, a rosary in her hand and a flask in the other. I drop down and fold her into my arms as she cries.
“It’s okay, it’s all over now.”
I can hear the voice of Luce as he runs through the house, spotting us at the end of the hall. “Ma, Lexi! Fuck me, I thought-”
“We’re okay, Luce. I promise, just a little shaken up is all.”
I stand, and together, we help Lucinda stand, which is made awkward by her refusal to let go of the flask and beaded necklace. Once she’s on her feet, she looks around the corner into her kitchen, a string of curse words falling from her lips as takes a big drink from the flask.
“I’m sorry, Lucinda. I’m so sorry that this has happened to you and your beautiful home.”
God, words like that feel so damn empty. I feel like I should just stay far away from the people I care most about. Nothing but pain, loss, and destruction follow me, and it has touched so many precious lives already. Tears slip from my eyes as Luce carefully gathers his mother in his arms, leading her out of the room and leaving me to stand alone. I don’t blame him. I’d want my mother far from me too if I were him.
I feel suddenly cold now as I survey the room, the bullet holes in the walls, the family photos all strewn across the floor in shattered glass, food covering every inch of the wooden floors. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t allowed myself to be a part of Luce’s life, the Rametta’s wouldn’t know such suffering.
I pick up a photo I spot on the floor, Maxine’s brilliant smile shining back at me as her mother looks up at her rather than the camera. Her auburn hair sits perfectly straight on her head just as it was the last time I saw her. I flip over the picture and spot her handwritten note to her mom.
Giving up isn’t a choice. Keep going, keep fighting, and most of all, keep loving.
Fuck cancer.
I know the note was written for her mom, but it touches something deep down inside of me. Luce has every right to want to distant himself from me, and if that’s what he’s beginning to do, then I’ll keep fighting and I’ll keep loving because giving him up isn’t a fucking choice.
With a new found determination working its way through me, I settle on a plan I have in mind. I know it’s risky, and I know there's a shit ton of variables that can go completely wrong, but I have to do it. For Gio and Luce, Ihaveto.