Page 54 of Wolf Desired

AUDREY

I jerked awake,my pulse racing, my body sticky with sweat and ugly red scratches up and down my arms and around my neck from where the sticky black smoke had captured me in my dream. The unease sat tight and heavy in my chest, worse than before I went to bed, and tears rolled down my cheeks.

Furious, I wiped them away. I was done with him, done with all of them. They couldn’t reach me and I was finally safe.

I. Was. Safe.

God, why couldn’t I make myself believe that?

I dragged my bleary gaze to the window, the curtains still open since I’d collapsed on the bed and hadn’t bothered to shut them.

Dawn was just starting to lighten the sky, which meant I’d slept for most of the night, but I didn’t feel like it. I was still exhausted, and the unease still seethed inside me and made me tremble.

With a groan of frustration, I got out of bed and slipped into a dark blue, backless dress with a high neckline that hid the scratches at my throat and was made from a material thick enough that it wouldn’t show off my nipples. Not that I had to worry about being perpetually turned on now that my heat was over.

Normally I would have preferred a shirt and pair of pants, but for some reason I balked at the idea. I wanted to look pretty just in case I came across Bishop, and he’d spent the last month watching me get dirtier and dirtier in a shirt and pants. I didn’t want to remind him of that. I wanted to remind him of the woman in the pretty dress he’d made love to the night of the wedding in Kelna.

Trying to remind myself that I likely wouldn’t see Bishop until dinner and that I shouldn’t get my hopes up, I headed down the quiet halls to the kitchen.

Inside, two women — one middle-aged and the other about my age — were making morning pastries. The young woman sang and danced as she worked while the old woman was more restrained and just hummed along with her. They were still in the early stages of their work with the young woman filling a pan with what looked like cinnamon rolls and the older one working on a batter that I guessed was intended for the empty muffin tray on the counter beside her.

Breakfast clearly wasn’t ready, but I suspected if I asked, there’d be fruit and bread in the fridge.

Except, even though I hadn’t eaten a lot last night, I wasn’t hungry. The unease was like a vise around my chest, making it hard to breathe, and it fed an angry irritation that was sure to get me in trouble if I talked to anyone.

And since I still wasn’t entirely sure where I stood with Cyrus and the pack, I didn’t want to risk pissing off the wrong person. In my old pack, the wrong person had been everyone except my friend Mila. I had to assume until I knew otherwise that it was the same here.

Which meant it was best to step away before one of them saw me.

And here I was being terrified of reprisal from everyone once again.

The thought made me want to scream and I hurried out the front door, hoping that being outside would help.

But the crisp air and the peaceful early morning silence did nothing to diminish the unease and frustration and anger — so much anger — boiling inside me.

Jeez. What was wrong with me?

I’d never been so angry in my life.

But maybe it was about time. I’d barely stood up for myself when I was a child and Merrick had punished that away within a year of living with him. Now I was free from him and his son. Perhaps all the rage and fear I’d kept bottled up all the years had finally broken free.

If that was the case, I needed to figure out how to get rid of it before I yelled at the wrong person. Just because I was Knox’s mate and Bishop was romantically interested in me, didn’t mean I had immunity from bad behavior.

Sure, shifters tended to be more volatile in nature than other supers, but losing it for no apparent reason was still bad.

I marched around the Residence’s grounds. My emotions roiled inside me and my thoughts were a jumble, searching for a reason for why I’d finally broken. Then my thoughts jumped to my horrible childhood then to the terrifying moment when that monster had started to eat Merrick while he’d still been alive then back to the beginning again. Around and around and around I went.

It wasn’t fair.

It just God damned wasn’t fair.

And while logically I knew life wasn’t fair, I couldn’t get my emotions under control. All that blood, all of myfather’sblood, splattering the bathtub tiles, all the punishments, all the fear about when Sterling would attack next, building and building until I couldn’t breathe. All the hope Royce had given me in the blink of an eye before crushing it completely.

How dare they! How dare all of them.

I’d been trapped in my life through my naivety and my position in my pack, and I was still trapped. I was trapped in my bond with Knox and I was trapped in my own body, my wolf form locked away forever.

A ferocious wildness rose inside me, and I threw my head back and screamed, desperate to release the pressure crushing my chest.

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