Page 38 of Mr. Wolfe's Nanny

Luckily, the kids are out promptly and their surprised and joyous faces upon seeing me waiting with Quinn make me feel ten feet tall. And, I’ll admit seeing Quinn’s eyes shining with happiness as the kids rush me has the same effect.

I lift Jill up in my arms and give Ryder a fist bump. He’s eagerly telling me about the birthday party he’s been invited to. I meet Jill’s new friend Tim and his mother and then turn my attention back to Ryder. “Whose party is it, buddy?”

“Park’s! It’s airsoft rifles! Guns and masks and everything!”

“Oh, that’s, uh… interesting.”

I’m glad they’re still friends even if my past relationship with Park’s mom makes things awkward between the adults. But airsoft rifles? Sounds a bit extreme for a ten-year old’s birthday party.

Quinn’s dubious expression tells me she’s got some of the same concerns as me regarding this. “I’ve heard that, despite the name, getting hit really stings, Ryder. You understand that real guns aren’t toys, right? If your father allows you to go, you’ll need to wear all the proper safety equipment and follow the rules.”

“I assure youTheo’sson will be fine, Ms. Quinn.” We turn to find Nadine behind us and she’s apparently heard Quinn and decided to speak up. “As amother, I have more worries thanyoucan possibly understand but Park’s been quite adamant about this for his party and boys will be boys.”

I watch Quinn’s lips thin with disapproval as her cheeks flush. Nadine’s managed to both piss her off and embarrass her. And, having been a boy once myself, I know how liberally that old tag ‘boys will be boys’ gets applied and how inappropriately at times, too.

“Quinn was a teacher for years. I trust her judgment on things and I’m not sure how I feel about this for my nine-year-old, Nadine.”

I see Ryder’s thunderous expression and know now is not the place for this discussion. If he’s going to be angry, better we tackle that away from others.

“We’ll talk about it at home, Ryder. Have a good afternoon, Nadine,” I say to indicate the conversation is over.

“Ms. Quinn and I wanted to stop and get cupcakes on the way home, kids. How does that sound?” I ask the children when we reach the car. If in doubt, distract.

Cupcakes must sound good based on the high-pitched shriek from Jill and equally loud roar from Ryder. I muss his hair and the four of us head to the bakery. Sometimes, I almost feel like I have a pretty good handle on being a dad.

∞∞∞

No, I do not have a good handle on being a dad.

“I never want to talk to you again!”

The door slams in my face and I clench my fists. My son is angry with me and he doesn’t care that my utmost concern is always going to be his well-being. He just wants to do what his friends are doing.

“Want me to talk to him?” Quinn asks.

I hadn’t heard her approach. I sigh and nod, figuring maybe another voice might help soften this blow. The No-Airsoft Rifle Party blow. I am officially an Un-Fun Parent.

“You’re trying to do your best.”

“Am I being unreasonable? My brothers and I did all kinds of things growing up, spent hours unsupervised by the lake.”

“But you knew how to swim, were never alone and you followed the rules about when you were allowed in the water, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you weren’t shooting at each other.”

“There were times I was tempted,” I joke, feebly.

Quinn shakes her head at my joke. “It’s alright, Theo. I respect your decision. And you didn’t tell him never ever. Just not this young. Will you tuck Jill in while I talk to him?”

“Sure. Thanks, Quinn.”

I start to move past her but her hand brushes mine like it did in the car earlier on the way to the memorial garden. I catch her wrist, stroke it softly with the pad of my thumb. In an instant, my gesture of appreciation transforms into something else. We’re frozen here in the hallway, my hand still circling her wrist.

Fuck, I want her. I want her in my arms, in my bed, in my life. I’ve got her in my life. But she’s in all of our lives and the kids love her.

She slowly raises her eyes to mine, gives me a wry smile. “My garment bag from the shop was quite full.”

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