Page 52 of Overcoming the Beta

“I’m ready to be yours in every way.” I whisper out through a heavy breath.

Ian

“I’m ready to be yours in every way.” With her words, a wave of guilt hits me. If she knew that I have been unfaithful all these months, would she still love me? Could she see past all my indiscretions? I’ve messed up three times since I’ve been home. Each time, Nikki caught me alone and sucked me off. I fucking hate myself for not being able to resist.

It all came to an abrupt stop when I caught Kate coming out of the clinic. When I questioned her, she told me about her chest pains, and I realized her chest pains coincided with each time I was with Nikki. I’m not too sure if it’s a coincidence or not, but it was enough to make me want to stop. Kate deserves a faithful mate. But the guilt still eats at me.

“Ian? Where did you go?” Kate looks back at me, snapping me from my thoughts.

“I’m right here, angel. I was just thinking about marking you, and how much I love you.” To spare her feelings, I lie. I love her with all my heart. She can never know what I’ve done . It would devastate her. “Let’s get out. The water is getting cold.” I whisper in her ear and kiss her neck. We feel the other’s feelings, so I need to divert her attention away from my guilt.

As I sit on the bed waiting for Kate to join me, I think about the fact that she is ready for me to mark her, and tonight is the night. I’m excited and nervous at the same time.Why am I nervous?She is mine and this will just solidify our bond… bring us closer.

“Ian?” Kate stands between my legs. “Is there something wrong? Do we need to talk about something?” She nervously twists the hem of her tank top, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

“No angel, why would you ask that?” I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her in to me. Needing to feel her soft skin against mine, I put my hands under her tank top and rub her back.

“You just got… weird after I said I’m ready for you to mark me. Are you sure you even want… for us to mark each other?” She pulls back to look me in the face. I know she felt my emotions earlier, and she knows something is off.

“Of course I am. You’re my everything.” I pull her back closer into my body.

“It’s just that I’ve been getting the guilty feelings lately.” She pulls away and whispers.

“Guilty? What are you guilty about?” My hands are shaking and my palms are sweaty… she knows.Fuck.

“Since you’ve been home, and since you found out about the pains in my chest… you’ve dedicated so much time to me. You don’t spend any time with Zane or Kelsey or anyone else for that fact. I see the strain in your friendship with Zane and Kelsey… you’re more like brothers and now nothing. I don’t want to come in between your relationship with them.” When she finished speaking, she is in tears. She has taken on all of my guilt as her own and is blaming herself for the issues with Zane and Kelsey. I want to tell her the truth and come clean once and for all, but looking at her face, I don’t think she could handle the truth.

“Oh, angel… there’s no strain in my friendship. I see those two bozos for hours every day. We spend a lot of time together.” I pull away, scooting myself onto the bed, pressing my back against the headboard. “Fuck, this is so hard.” I put my head in my hands, trying hard to control my breathing. Everything I have done is weighing heavily on me… I need to tell her before we mark each other.

“Ian,” she crawls onto the bed and sits facing me, “please talk to me,” she begs. I look up and into her beautiful face. She is the purest soul that I have ever met. As much as I want to be truthful with her, I can’t. I know it will hurt her and I won’t do that to her.

“This is hard juggling a mate and friends, but I’m trying. I hate how you think that you’ve caused issues with my friendships. It’s not true. You are my priority over them. Fuck, now I feel guilty because I know you’re feeling guilty, and it hurts me so much.” I run my hands through my hair.

“Oh, my Goddess, Ian. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize how hard it’s been for you… I know you’re trying, babe. Please look at me.” She straddles my lap and cups my face in her hands. “I love you so much. Let’s not talk about it anymore tonight. You created a romantic night. I don’t want to spoil it. Forgive me for bringing it up.” She presses her lips into mine.

I take advantage of her willingness to please me and remove her tank top and let the lust of the mate bond take over. Kate takes the lead, kissing me, and with a single kiss, any doubt she may have is washed away. The haze of the mate bond clouds her mind and erases any negative thoughts. She kisses me with fire, almost like she’s apologizing. She needs to make me happy, to put my happiness above hers. I like this needy side of her.

She moves her lips down my neck and sucks the area where she will soon leave her mark for everyone to see. Her hips move in circles, grinding her wet pussy into my cock. She scratches her nails down my chest as she trails kisses down to my stomach. I watch her intently as she nears the waistband on my shorts.

“What’s on your mind, angel?” I run my fingers through her hair.

“I’m curious,” she bites her lip, slipping her body further down.

“Oh?” I lick my lips and press my dick into her breasts.

“I want to know what you taste like.” She smiles, then looks down, avoiding eye contact with me.

“So shy for someone so brave.” I bend down and kiss her.

“Brave?” She looks up at me, tilting her head.

“You’re telling me what you want. You’ve never done that before, angel.” I rub my thumb along her bottom lip.

“I don’t know what to do, though.” She looks away.

“You want me to teach you, angel?” I push my thumb into her mouth, gliding it over her soft, wet tongue.

“Mmm hmm,” she nods her head, closing her lips, gently sucking my thumb.

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