Page 45 of Requiem

It’s the piece of music he played in the auditorium. The same piece of music I was humming in the car the day Gaynor dropped me off at Toussaint. I don’t know how I know it, but I do. I’m suddenly overcome with frustration. So sick and tired of feeling sad, and angry, and guilty. I want to feel something else,anythingelse, for just five fucking minutes.

Theo stops humming when I lift my head from his chest. “If you’re going to start yelling at me again—” he starts. But I cut him off with my mouth.

Cupping the back of his neck with my hand, I pull his head closer so I can kiss him harder, and the warmth of his skin against my palm sears me to the bone. I’ve wanted to touch him for so long. Needed to touch him. I brace my other hand against his chest, and I feel his pulse quicken in time with mine as I urge his lips open and drive my tongue into his mouth.

He groans, desperate and urgent, huffing heavily down his nose, kissing me back, and I’m swept away on a tidal wave of relief.He’skissedmebefore. He’s made plenty of moves on me, but I’ve never been the one to try and kiss him. The thought that he might reject me was terrifying, but I need not have worried. Theo’s reaction is engulfing. His hands rove over my back, down my arms, up to cup my face. He digs his fingers into my hair, roughly pulling my hair back. He falls on me, tearing his mouth away from mine to leave a trail of burning kisses down the column of my throat, and my stomach tightens. My thighs clench together, a heat building between my legs, and I know precisely how far this is going to go if I don’t stop it now.

I should. But…I can’t.

“Voss. Fuck, Voss, you’re fucking killing me,” Theo gasps. “I want your pussy. I want you riding my goddamn face. I fuckingneedit.”

Heat slams into me—a burning hot poker burning right at my core. The desperation in his tone matches the urgency I feel, raking its claws down my spine. Normally, I’d cringe away from such a graphic statement. Boys have talked dirty to me before, but I’ve always found it embarrassing. Nothing about what Theo just said was embarrassing, though. I already know how good he is with that tongue. No one kisses like that anddoesn’tknow how to go down on a girl. And I want him to make me come like that so badly, I really fucking do.

For a second, I’m dizzy; Theo shifts, getting to his feet, but not for long—just enough time to twist me around so that we’re chest-to-chest, and for his hands to guide my legs around his waist. Then he sits back down on the bed and kisses me again.

I can’t tell if there are fireworks going off inside my head or if it’s lightning bolts. It shouldn’t matter but it does—one of those options is used to celebrate momentous occasions; the other causes natural disasters and kills people. Either way, the raw energy roiling around in my brain is too much to bear as Theo’s tongue explores my mouth, and he nips and teases at my lips with his teeth. His hands roam down, over my shirt, until he’s cupping both of my breasts in his palms. He is not gentle when he starts to knead them, rolling and pinching my hardened nipples through the fabric of my top and the thin lace bra I’m wearing.

“I’m gonna fill your holes,” he says. “I want my dick in your mouth. Your pussy. Your ass. I want to make you fucking scream. I’ve needed to hear my name on your lips for so fucking long…”

Grabbing me by the hips, he jerks me down, rocking uphiships, and I can feel him, solid, rubbing up against me through his jeans. His cock is as hard as reinforced steel. When he rolls his hips beneath me, grinding himself up to meet me, the sensation is mind-blowing. Amazing. Everything I’ve ever imagined it could be.

I angle my hips back again, waiting for him to shift, and then when he does, I angle myself back down at the same time, so that we’re both moving in concert, both applying pressure at the same time. Theo loses his goddamn mind. His fingers dig into my ass cheeks as he rocks me back and forth against his dick.

“I’m going to fuck you so damn hard,” he grits out through his teeth. “I’m gonna hold you down and make you come again and again and again. You’re gonna be begging me to stop.”

I won’t. I’ll never want him to stop. I scramble with the material of his shirt, fisting it and dragging it up his body, determined to have him naked in the next five seconds. Theo places a hand around my wrist, shaking his head, though. “No. No time.”

Okay. Fair enough. I can get on board with that. Theo pivots, dumping me onto my back on top of the bed. I wrestle with the button on his jeans—thank god he isn’t wearing a fucking belt—while he wrestles with mine. His hands work quicker than mine. I gasp when he jerks my pants down over my hips, and then tears them down my legs. My panties go with my PJ shorts. With a feral, animal smile on his face, Theo drops down between my legs and pushes them further apart, propping himself up on his elbows.

A deeply satisfied growl of appreciation works up his throat as he inspects me. “Holy fuck, Kid. Goddamnit, you’re beautiful. You have the prettiest cunt I’ve ever fucking seen.” My cheeks burn hot and bright. He reaches out and, using the tips of his index and his middle fingers, he parts me, his breath stuttering out of him as he explores a part of my body nobody has ever investigated this thoroughly before.

“So. Fucking. Wet,” he hisses. “You’re ready for me.”

I let my head fall back against the duvet, screwing my eyes shut. My skin prickles like there’s an electrical current running over it. My nipples and breasts ache so badly they hurt. I need him to touch me properly. I need his fingers on my clit, his tongue…something. I need to feel his cock thrusting inside me before I lose my fucking mind. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. If I don’t have him, I think I might die.

“Please. Please!” I never thought I’d beg. Not for this. Not with him. But here I am…

“It’s all right, Kid. I’m gonna give you what you need. It’s okay. Shh.” Theo laps at me, the tip of his tongue probing in between the wetness of me, finding and stroking the taut bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs, and every muscle in my body seizes. My legs lock out. My spine curves away from the bed. I’d scream if I had any air in my lungs. Starbursts of light feather across the dark void behind my eyelids, lighting up my head.

I act without thinking, driving my hands into Theo’s hair. I’ve known what this would feel like—the shape of his head cradled between my legs. My sweat-soaked dreams have given me glimpses, even if I can’t remember them. The reality of it is just as heady, just as deviant. He runs the flat of his tongue over me, from my entrance all the way up to my clit again, and my thighs spasm, closing around his head. I realize what I’m doing and lower them, mild embarrassment tugging at me, but Theo tuts into the inside of my leg.

“No, Voss. Clamp ’em tight. I wanna feel how bad you want this. And there are worse ways to die. If I go with my face buried in your pussy, it’ll be with a smile on my face.”

Oh.

My.

Fuck.

I oblige him, clenching my thighs around his head, pushing him down on me. I need more, more, more. I want to be laid bare before him, all of me on show for him, for him to peruse and inspect me at his leisure. I want him to use me. I want to surrender all control over this nightmare. For the first time in months, I want to feel anything but sad. I want to feelgood.

Theo flicks his tongue over my center again. Flames of heat strengthen in my gut, traveling up into my chest, burning there. The band of tension across the backs of my shoulders, ever-present, never relenting, finally releases, and my body sinks even deeper into the bed. I let out a startled gasp when I feel a new pressure—Theo’s fingers, dipping into my opening. I am the center point of a brilliantly burning star when he slips them inside me and begins to curl them against a firm part of my insides that I didn’t even know existed. Coupled with the sensation of his tongue languorously working over my clit, I nearly come apart right then and there.

“Oh my god. Holy shit, that feels… that…”

“Good?” Theo murmurs.

“Fuck, yes. Good. Really fucking good.”

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