Page 25 of Cocky Caveman

I laugh a little louder. I was going for brother—which would make logical sense after those comments he just made—but now the front-runner is a gay friend because…honeybunch.

“The Uber driver decided to take liberties—”

Hamlet gets cut off by the sound of a drawn-outmooin the background and some other random noises.

“Bugger! Get off Pearl. You don’t always have to top her. Show some restraint. She doesn’t want you pounding your way up her while she’s lying down, enjoying the peace and serenity and sunshine. Sometimes a girl just needs her space. Play hard to get. Go on a date first. You haven’t known each other long enough to be mounting her every chance you can get.”

What the hell?

“Chance, are you still there?” Hamlet says, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle with her hand covering her mouth.

“Hey, cousin. I think Bugger is in love with Pearl.”

Cousin?

Bugger?

Pearl?

“Oh, crap! Pearl just stood up, scared thebejeesusout of Bugger, and he toppled off into a dead faint. Legs in the air. Stiff. What time do you think you and the guy accompanying you will be—”

The conversation comes to a halt.

Hamlet finally realizes the phone is on speaker and reverts it to for-her-ears-only mode. I thought she would notice sooner, but I wasn’t going to point it out. I’m surprised it took her this long. It justifies why I am escorting her home and why she slept most of the way.

Also, I now know she has a cousin, and apparently, a Bugger is giving a Pearl a pounding before fainting.

Do I want to slap the guy on the back and commend him on his prowess, or are they talking about something completely non-sexual?

Color me curious.

“Chance! I need to stop you there. I’ll message you in a moment, be ready… Okay… Love to you guys and Pearl and Pixy. I’ll see you soon…Yep… No worries. I’m going to be by myself…Yup…Messaging you now… bye!” she says hurriedly to get this guy off the line. Then she’s vigorously stabbing at the phone’s keyboard.

If she thinks she’s going to get rid of me that easily, she’s got another thing coming. I offer a door-to-door service.

We are now off the interstate and heading toward Temecula. I just figured she would give me directions if I were going the wrong way.

Hamlet looks at me. “Gas.”

“What?” I raise my eyebrow. “If you need to fart, you can do that without announcing—”

“No. We need to feed Manny.” She points up the road where I can see a gas station in the distance at the rest stop. “Could you please pull over?”

“You can’t blame a guy; after all, you were the one who pulled that stunt back at Peace Café.” I check the gauge, and she is right; we do indeed need to fill Manny up with some juice.

“Clever. I know.” She is a pretty smirker. I can see the nap has done her good; she’s charged up her witty battery.

Revenge will be sweet.

I pull in and line up behind a red pickup.

“Do you mind filling Manny up for me, please?” She gives me a practiced unreadable smile, but I know the intelligence she possesses.

Hamlet reaches for her wallet.

I hold a hand up. “No, I’ve got this for you.”

“No. My Manny, my gas. You have done enough. Thank you.” She makes it sound so final.

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