Page 34 of Golden

“Fuck,” Zak breathes. “Is this about him?”

My entire body tenses. “No.”

Alex and Zak share a look.

“It’s not,” I insist. Not entirely.

Zak and Alex turn around, leaning against the bar, facing me.

“Spill,” Alex says. “Get it out of your system and then we can focus on having a good night.”

I shake my head. “No. I don’t need to talk about it.”

“You clearly do,” Zak says, glancing at Alex again in a way that has my shoulders tensing. “A problem shared is a problem halved and all that crap.”

Rubbing my fingers against my temples, I try to shake the cloud that seems to have formed over my head, but I can’t. The alcohol is buzzing in my system already, the steady beat of the music pounding in time with my heart, and maybe that’s why I decide to open my mouth.

“Wes sucked me off.”

Alex chokes on his mouthful of vodka coke, and I grimace as it splashes on my forearm. To my left, Zak’s mouth hangs open like something from a Tom and Jerry cartoon. If I wasn’t such a fucked-up mess, I’d probably laugh.

“I’m fucking speechless,” Alex rasps. “What the hell, man?”

Zak shakes his head, his brown eyes still comically large. “Did you enjoy it?”

“I was wrong,” I say, signaling to the woman behind the bar. “I’m definitely not drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Sorry,” Alex says. “I just wasn’t expecting . . . that.”

“Neither was I,” I mutter.

“I’m still waiting for my answer.” Zak reaches out and prods my arm. “Did you enjoy it?”

I shrug, trying again to catch the bartender’s eye. “It’s head, so of course I did.”

“Okay. Sure.” Alex folds his arms across his chest. “Let’s say we believe that bullshit. You got head from a guy you think is hot, but now you’re moping around like someone kicked your puppy. What happened?”

The bartender finally makes her way toward us and I almost sag onto the sticky bar in relief. I hold up three fingers and give her my best smile. “Three more vodka cokes please.”

“Coming right up.”

She winks in a way that tells me her number is mine if I want it, but it leaves me hollow. I mean, she’s attractive, with long dark hair in a high ponytail, an ample rack, and an athletic figure, but I’m clearly not in the headspace to do anything with anyone right now. Which is exactly what Wes told me. More or less.

“Sol?” Zak presses. “It was consensual, right?”

I almost choke on my intake of breath. “Are you kidding me?”

He shrugs. “I mean, he’s a big guy.”

“He’s not that much bigger than me.” I sigh. “It’s his fucking shoulders.”

The bartender pushes our drinks towards us, the action revealing a little more cleavage than is probably needed, and I tap my card to pay with a polite smile. I hadn’t meant to encourage her, and I haven’t got the energy to deal with it.

“Can we get back to your boyfriend problems now?” Zak asks, swiping his drink.

The bartender’s dark eyes widen, and she glances over me curiously before moving away.

“Thanks for that,” I mutter.

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